WEBVTT 00:00:00.360 --> 00:00:00.600 line:85% position:50% size:80% ALL RIGHT, 00:00:00.720 --> 00:00:01.439 line:85% position:50% size:80% MEL ROBBINS, 00:00:01.480 --> 00:00:02.879 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELCOME TO MEET THE PRESS. 00:00:03.039 --> 00:00:03.309 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL, 00:00:03.439 --> 00:00:03.960 line:85% position:50% size:80% THANK YOU, 00:00:04.078 --> 00:00:04.960 line:85% position:50% size:80% THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. 00:00:05.038 --> 00:00:06.190 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE. 00:00:06.280 --> 00:00:07.320 line:85% position:50% size:80% THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. 00:00:07.360 --> 00:00:10.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE'RE REALLY HONORED AND WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS DISCUSSION. 00:00:11.439 --> 00:00:12.710 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE 00:00:13.278 --> 00:00:17.478 line:85% position:50% size:80% REALLY STARTED IN SOME WAYS A MOVEMENT WITH YOUR LET THEM 00:00:17.879 --> 00:00:18.269 line:85% position:50% size:80% THEORY. 00:00:18.280 --> 00:00:21.000 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE BOOK WHICH I'VE READ. 00:00:21.079 --> 00:00:23.958 line:85% position:50% size:80% I ABSOLUTELY FOUND SO MUCH INSPIRATION FROM. 00:00:24.559 --> 00:00:24.870 line:85% position:50% size:80% NOW, 00:00:25.019 --> 00:00:27.100 line:85% position:50% size:80% MOST PEOPLE ARE FAMILIAR WITH THE LET THEM THEORY, 00:00:27.120 --> 00:00:28.969 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT FOR THE FOLKS WHO AREN'T, 00:00:29.899 --> 00:00:31.109 line:85% position:50% size:80% HOW WOULD YOU, 00:00:31.219 --> 00:00:34.740 line:85% position:50% size:80% IN THE MOST SIMPLE TERMS DESCRIBE WHAT THE LET THEM THEORY IS? 00:00:34.978 --> 00:00:35.009 line:85% position:50% size:80% UH, 00:00:35.090 --> 00:00:36.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE LET THEM THEORY IS VERY SIMPLE. 00:00:37.380 --> 00:00:38.969 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU STOP 00:00:39.380 --> 00:00:42.810 line:85% position:50% size:80% TRYING TO CONTROL AND CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE SUDDENLY, 00:00:43.219 --> 00:00:44.779 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE MORE TIME, 00:00:44.848 --> 00:00:49.048 line:85% position:50% size:80% ENERGY AND POWER IN YOUR OWN LIFE TO FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND IMPROVING IT. 00:00:49.179 --> 00:00:51.810 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S IT THAT RELEASING CONTROL. 00:00:52.579 --> 00:00:54.770 line:85% position:50% size:80% GIVES YOU SO MUCH CONTROL AND PEACE BACK. 00:00:54.908 --> 00:00:55.679 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S NOT 00:00:56.048 --> 00:00:59.439 line:85% position:50% size:80% LET IT GO BECAUSE YOU FOLLOW LET THEM WITH LET ME. 00:00:59.848 --> 00:01:01.319 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHY IS THAT AN IMPORTANT COMPONENT? 00:01:01.408 --> 00:01:01.459 line:85% position:50% size:80% YES, 00:01:01.609 --> 00:01:03.689 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO THERE'S TWO PARTS TO THE THEORY. 00:01:03.728 --> 00:01:04.799 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE FIRST ONE IS LET THEM, 00:01:04.930 --> 00:01:07.120 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THAT'S THE PART EVERYBODY LOVES BECAUSE 00:01:07.528 --> 00:01:08.400 line:85% position:50% size:80% RIGHT NOW 00:01:09.290 --> 00:01:11.138 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIFE IS SO OVERWHELMING AND LET'S FACE IT, 00:01:11.209 --> 00:01:12.480 line:85% position:50% size:80% OTHER PEOPLE ARE SUPER ANNOYING. 00:01:12.599 --> 00:01:13.769 line:85% position:50% size:80% THEY'RE VERY FRUSTRATING. 00:01:14.250 --> 00:01:16.918 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU CAN GO THROUGH YOUR DAY AND FROM TRAFFIC 00:01:17.168 --> 00:01:21.659 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND YOU'RE GRIPPING THE WHEEL OR PEOPLE WALKING SLOW OR TALKING CLOSE OR 00:01:21.849 --> 00:01:24.760 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE MEETINGS THAT ARE SCHEDULED AT 6 O'CLOCK ON A FRIDAY, 00:01:24.888 --> 00:01:26.159 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE GUILT TRIPS LIKE 00:01:26.489 --> 00:01:30.888 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT IS GOING TO DRAIN ALL OF YOUR ENERGY AND OTHER 00:01:30.888 --> 00:01:33.719 line:85% position:50% size:80% PEOPLE ARE THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF STRESS IN YOUR LIFE, 00:01:34.168 --> 00:01:36.888 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT HERE'S WHAT THE LET THEM THEORY TAUGHT ME THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE. 00:01:37.769 --> 00:01:37.948 line:85% position:50% size:80% SEE, 00:01:37.969 --> 00:01:39.918 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU GET TO DECIDE 00:01:40.250 --> 00:01:42.159 line:85% position:50% size:80% HOW MUCH SOMEBODY ELSE AFFECTS YOU. 00:01:42.168 --> 00:01:45.079 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU GET TO DECIDE HOW MUCH BRAIN SPACE THEY TAKE. 00:01:45.209 --> 00:01:48.609 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU GET TO DECIDE WHETHER TRAFFIC OR INCONSIDERATE 00:01:48.609 --> 00:01:51.439 line:85% position:50% size:80% BEHAVIOR OR THE HEADLINES STRESS YOU OUT. 00:01:51.769 --> 00:01:53.459 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO LET THEM 00:01:53.969 --> 00:01:57.159 line:85% position:50% size:80% IS WHERE YOU RECOGNIZE AND IT'S SO SO YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO READ THE BOOK. 00:01:57.370 --> 00:01:59.209 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU CAN START USING IT AFTER OUR CONVERSATION THE 00:01:59.209 --> 00:02:01.278 line:85% position:50% size:80% MOMENT YOU'RE STRESSED OUT OR FRUSTRATED OR WHATEVER, 00:02:01.290 --> 00:02:04.599 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU JUST SAY LET THEM AND YOU'LL NOTICE YOU'RE ALWAYS STRESSED BY OTHER PEOPLE. 00:02:05.099 --> 00:02:06.799 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THE SECOND YOU SAY LET THEM, 00:02:07.088 --> 00:02:07.870 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU RECOGNIZE, 00:02:07.948 --> 00:02:08.169 line:85% position:50% size:80% OK, 00:02:08.250 --> 00:02:10.080 line:85% position:50% size:80% I CAN'T CONTROL THIS PERSON. 00:02:11.629 --> 00:02:13.250 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO WHY AM I GONNA LET IT BOTHER ME? 00:02:13.500 --> 00:02:15.618 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THEN YOU SAY LET ME AND LET ME IS 00:02:15.618 --> 00:02:18.580 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHERE YOU TAKE YOUR POWER BACK AND YOU REMIND YOURSELF, 00:02:18.699 --> 00:02:20.088 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THIS IS A VERY OLD IDEA. 00:02:20.800 --> 00:02:24.830 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE LET THEM THEORY IS A MODERN TAKE ON ANCIENT WISDOM. 00:02:25.538 --> 00:02:27.479 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO WHEN YOU SAY LET ME 00:02:28.020 --> 00:02:33.278 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU ARE REMINDING YOURSELF THAT YOUR POWER IS NOT IN TRYING TO CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE. 00:02:33.778 --> 00:02:35.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOUR POWER IS IN CHANGING 00:02:36.099 --> 00:02:37.330 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOUR RESPONSE 00:02:37.659 --> 00:02:40.219 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO OTHER PEOPLE AND TO THE SITUATIONS THAT ARE 00:02:40.219 --> 00:02:42.050 line:85% position:50% size:80% GOING ON AROUND YOU THAT ARE UPSETTING YOU. 00:02:42.179 --> 00:02:42.508 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL, 00:02:42.899 --> 00:02:47.939 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOUR BOOK IS HAVING A HUGE IMPACT AND YOU LET THEM PHILOSOPHY. 00:02:48.219 --> 00:02:50.528 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S THE NUMBER ONE BEST SELLING BOOK. 00:02:50.580 --> 00:02:53.649 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'VE SOLD MORE THAN 6.5 MILLION COPIES. 00:02:53.778 --> 00:02:55.389 line:85% position:50% size:80% OPRAH CALLS IT HER FAVORITE 00:02:55.819 --> 00:02:56.460 line:85% position:50% size:80% SELF-HELP. 00:02:56.615 --> 00:02:57.034 line:85% position:50% size:80% BOOK, 00:02:57.694 --> 00:03:01.913 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHY HAS THE LET THEM THEORY RESONATED WITH SO MANY PEOPLE? 00:03:02.094 --> 00:03:02.304 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL, 00:03:02.524 --> 00:03:03.004 line:85% position:50% size:80% NUMBER ONE, 00:03:03.085 --> 00:03:04.413 line:85% position:50% size:80% I THINK THERE'S 4 MAIN REASONS. 00:03:04.474 --> 00:03:05.235 line:85% position:50% size:80% NUMBER ONE, 00:03:06.284 --> 00:03:10.955 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT ADDRESSES THE SINGLE BIGGEST CAUSE OF STRESS IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW, 00:03:11.205 --> 00:03:15.913 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND ANY PSYCHOLOGIST WILL TELL YOU THAT IF YOU TRY TO CONTROL SOMETHING 00:03:16.205 --> 00:03:17.514 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S OUT OF YOUR CONTROL, 00:03:17.604 --> 00:03:19.474 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S JUST GONNA CREATE STRESS FOR YOU. 00:03:19.770 --> 00:03:21.860 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO WHEN YOU USE IT, 00:03:22.189 --> 00:03:25.649 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT TEACHES YOU THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE JUST LIVING THEIR LIVES 00:03:25.868 --> 00:03:27.349 line:85% position:50% size:80% THEY'RE DOING WHAT THEY'RE DOING THEY THINK 00:03:27.349 --> 00:03:29.028 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHAT THEY THINK THEY BELIEVE WHAT THEY BELIEVE 00:03:29.028 --> 00:03:32.139 line:85% position:50% size:80% THEY ACT HOW THEY ACT THEY CHANGE OR THEY DON'T CHANGE WHEN THEY WANNA CHANGE 00:03:32.429 --> 00:03:34.139 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND WHEN YOU LET THEM 00:03:34.429 --> 00:03:36.189 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU PROTECT YOURSELF FROM ALL THE 00:03:36.189 --> 00:03:39.460 line:85% position:50% size:80% UNNECESSARY STRESS THAT YOU'RE CAUSING FOR YOURSELF 00:03:39.830 --> 00:03:42.069 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE YOU WANT TO CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE YOU 00:03:42.069 --> 00:03:44.419 line:85% position:50% size:80% WISH THEY WERE DIFFERENT SO YOU SAY LET THEM 00:03:44.710 --> 00:03:46.139 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND ALL OF A SUDDEN IT'S LIKE. 00:03:47.210 --> 00:03:50.520 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE RELEASE OF CONTROL FLOODS YOU WITH CLARITY 00:03:50.729 --> 00:03:51.169 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND PEACE, 00:03:51.288 --> 00:03:52.240 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO THAT'S #1, 00:03:52.528 --> 00:03:55.210 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT IT ADDRESSES THE #1 CAUSE OF STRESS THAT EVERYBODY'S FEELING. 00:03:55.490 --> 00:03:55.960 line:85% position:50% size:80% #2, 00:03:56.490 --> 00:03:58.000 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S A SIMPLE TOOL. 00:03:58.899 --> 00:04:00.758 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S A SIMPLE TOOL 00:04:00.889 --> 00:04:01.849 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT WORKS 00:04:02.210 --> 00:04:05.610 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THAT MEANS THAT AS YOU'RE READING THE BOOK AND YOU'RE 00:04:05.610 --> 00:04:08.778 line:85% position:50% size:80% STARTING TO FEEL LESS STRESSED AND YOU'RE STARTING TO RECOGNIZE WOW 00:04:09.088 --> 00:04:11.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% I CAN'T CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE I GOTTA LEARN TO ACCEPT THEM AS 00:04:11.729 --> 00:04:15.379 line:85% position:50% size:80% THEY ARE AND FOCUS ON MYSELF PEOPLE ARE LIKE MY MOTHER NEEDS THIS 00:04:15.689 --> 00:04:17.737 line:85% position:50% size:80% MY SISTER NEEDS THIS OH MY GOSH, 00:04:17.769 --> 00:04:21.569 line:85% position:50% size:80% MY BOSS NEEDS THIS AND SO PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT IT AND SHARING 00:04:21.569 --> 00:04:24.199 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT WITH ONE ANOTHER BECAUSE IT'S SIMPLE AND IT WORKS IT'S A TOOL 00:04:24.569 --> 00:04:26.928 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE THE THIRD REASON IS BECAUSE. 00:04:27.689 --> 00:04:28.949 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE LET THEM THEORY IS NEW. 00:04:29.889 --> 00:04:30.379 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT 00:04:30.588 --> 00:04:31.579 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT IS 00:04:31.988 --> 00:04:34.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% PART OF A LEGACY OF ANCIENT WISDOM. 00:04:34.548 --> 00:04:35.790 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO IF YOU LOVE STOICISM. 00:04:36.500 --> 00:04:37.720 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S THE LET THEM THEORY. 00:04:37.769 --> 00:04:39.048 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU LOVE BUDDHISM, 00:04:39.209 --> 00:04:40.040 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S THE LET THEM THEORY. 00:04:40.048 --> 00:04:41.959 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU LOVE THE SERENITY PRAYER, 00:04:42.369 --> 00:04:43.528 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S THE LET THEM THEORY. 00:04:43.569 --> 00:04:44.850 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO AS YOU'RE READING IT YOU'RE LIKE, 00:04:44.889 --> 00:04:45.059 line:85% position:50% size:80% WOW, 00:04:45.170 --> 00:04:48.319 line:85% position:50% size:80% THIS SOUNDS LIKE DETACHMENT THEORY AND AND RADICAL ACCEPTANCE, 00:04:48.488 --> 00:04:49.548 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'RE RIGHT. 00:04:49.850 --> 00:04:52.559 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT YOUR GRANDMOTHER USED TO SAY, 00:04:52.649 --> 00:04:53.480 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'RE RIGHT. 00:04:53.569 --> 00:04:53.689 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL, 00:04:53.738 --> 00:04:55.040 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S WHAT IS 00:04:55.250 --> 00:04:58.189 line:85% position:50% size:80% I FOUND TO BE REALLY EDUCATIONAL ABOUT THE BOOK. 00:04:58.250 --> 00:05:01.608 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'RE NOT JUST SAYING LET THEM YOU HAVE GROUNDED THIS IN A LOT OF. 00:05:02.134 --> 00:05:03.004 line:85% position:50% size:80% RESEARCH MEL, 00:05:03.184 --> 00:05:03.535 line:85% position:50% size:80% YES, 00:05:03.665 --> 00:05:05.535 line:85% position:50% size:80% HOW IMPORTANT WAS THAT TO YOU? 00:05:05.625 --> 00:05:05.704 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL, 00:05:05.785 --> 00:05:07.504 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT BECAUSE I THINK 00:05:07.504 --> 00:05:09.375 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S VERY EASY TO OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS. 00:05:10.024 --> 00:05:12.334 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO MAKE SOMETHING SIMPLE, 00:05:12.545 --> 00:05:12.975 line:85% position:50% size:80% OK? 00:05:13.024 --> 00:05:13.694 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO 00:05:13.944 --> 00:05:16.625 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHEN YOU FINALLY GET DOWN TO A SIMPLE IDEA, 00:05:16.665 --> 00:05:17.944 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHICH IS WHEN YOU SAY LET THEM, 00:05:17.983 --> 00:05:21.375 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'RE DETACHING FROM THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL AND IT'S LIKE A BOUNDARY 00:05:21.785 --> 00:05:22.923 line:85% position:50% size:80% BETWEEN YOU AND THE WORLD 00:05:23.213 --> 00:05:26.184 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND IT'S HOW YOU PROTECT YOURSELF AND THEN WHEN YOU SAY LET ME. 00:05:26.699 --> 00:05:30.230 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU ARE USING A SECOND TOOL AND YOU ARE APPLYING STOICISM 00:05:30.230 --> 00:05:33.720 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND YOU'RE BASICALLY SAYING LET ME FOCUS ON WHAT I CAN CONTROL 00:05:33.928 --> 00:05:37.778 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THE ONLY THING IN LIFE THAT YOU CAN CONTROL AS SCARY AS THIS SOUNDS 00:05:38.129 --> 00:05:39.319 line:85% position:50% size:80% IS YOURSELF, 00:05:39.449 --> 00:05:40.000 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHAT YOU THINK, 00:05:40.059 --> 00:05:41.798 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHAT YOU DO OR DON'T DO IN RESPONSE, 00:05:42.088 --> 00:05:42.639 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND 00:05:42.889 --> 00:05:44.639 line:85% position:50% size:80% HOW YOU REACT TO THE EMOTIONS. 00:05:44.678 --> 00:05:45.399 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO 00:05:45.699 --> 00:05:49.278 line:85% position:50% size:80% ONE OF THE REASONS WHY PEOPLE LOVE THIS IS BECAUSE IT'S FAMILIAR 00:05:49.528 --> 00:05:53.559 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND BECAUSE IT WORKS WITH THE FUNDAMENTAL LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE AND RELATIONSHIPS, 00:05:53.569 --> 00:05:55.369 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT WHAT PEOPLE GET WRONG ABOUT THIS. 00:05:55.759 --> 00:05:59.858 line:85% position:50% size:80% IS THAT EVERYBODY LOVES LET THEM AND EVERYBODY'S TATTOOING LET THEM ON THEM BECAUSE 00:06:00.309 --> 00:06:00.819 line:85% position:50% size:80% AGAIN 00:06:01.230 --> 00:06:04.108 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIFE IS STRESSFUL AND THERE'S SO MUCH RIGHT NOW I 00:06:04.108 --> 00:06:06.790 line:85% position:50% size:80% MEAN YOU KNOW THIS BETTER THAN ANYBODY BECAUSE YOU'RE THE 00:06:06.790 --> 00:06:11.509 line:85% position:50% size:80% ONE REPORTING ON ALL OF IT THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT ARE OUT OF YOUR CONTROL IT IS. 00:06:11.653 --> 00:06:13.483 line:85% position:50% size:80% EASY TO FEEL OVERWHELMED. 00:06:13.524 --> 00:06:14.035 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT IS 00:06:14.285 --> 00:06:15.605 line:85% position:50% size:80% EASY TO FEEL TIRED. 00:06:15.704 --> 00:06:20.605 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT IS EASY TO BE DRAINED BY THE STRESS OF LIFE AND ALL THE UNCERTAINTY OUT THERE, 00:06:20.684 --> 00:06:23.285 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHETHER IT'S AI OR IT'S THE HEADLINES OR IT'S, 00:06:23.403 --> 00:06:23.595 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW, 00:06:23.684 --> 00:06:27.553 line:85% position:50% size:80% PEOPLE NOT ABLE TO EVEN HAVE CONVERSATIONS ABOUT POLICY ANYMORE. 00:06:27.944 --> 00:06:28.803 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S ALL TRUE. 00:06:29.619 --> 00:06:33.939 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT WHEN YOU ALLOW OUTSIDE FORCES TO DRAIN YOUR TIME 00:06:33.939 --> 00:06:36.619 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND ENERGY YOU MISS A FUNDAMENTAL TRUTH ABOUT LIFE. 00:06:37.189 --> 00:06:38.338 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE SO MUCH POWER 00:06:38.790 --> 00:06:39.540 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND WE NEED YOU. 00:06:40.230 --> 00:06:43.048 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND IF YOU ALLOW ALL THIS STUFF TO DRAIN YOU, 00:06:43.420 --> 00:06:47.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% THEN YOU WILL NOT BE PART OF MAKING YOUR LIFE 00:06:47.500 --> 00:06:50.028 line:85% position:50% size:80% BETTER YOU WILL NOT BE PART OF THE SOLUTION. 00:06:50.059 --> 00:06:52.449 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU WILL NOT SEE OPPORTUNITIES 00:06:52.858 --> 00:06:54.199 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO IMPROVE YOURSELF, 00:06:54.420 --> 00:06:57.059 line:85% position:50% size:80% IMPROVE YOUR FAMILY TO GET REENGAGED IN YOUR COMMUNITY. 00:06:57.389 --> 00:06:58.980 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE SO MUCH MORE POWER, 00:06:59.059 --> 00:07:03.579 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT WE TEND TO NOT SEE IT BECAUSE WE'RE GIVING IT AWAY TO ALL THIS OTHER STUFF. 00:07:03.699 --> 00:07:03.819 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL, 00:07:03.980 --> 00:07:06.129 line:85% position:50% size:80% ONE OF THE ASPECTS OF THIS BOOK THAT 00:07:06.420 --> 00:07:08.569 line:85% position:50% size:80% I FIND TO BE SO EFFECTIVE IS HOW 00:07:09.069 --> 00:07:10.619 line:85% position:50% size:80% DEEPLY HONEST YOU ARE. 00:07:10.699 --> 00:07:13.369 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'RE NOT JUST WRITING A BOOK WITH ADVICE. 00:07:13.579 --> 00:07:18.329 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT HOW YOU HAVE STRUGGLED THROUGH A LOT OF DIFFERENT THINGS. 00:07:18.540 --> 00:07:20.269 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU TALK ABOUT HOW YOU WISH SOME OF YOUR 00:07:21.028 --> 00:07:22.629 line:85% position:50% size:80% RESPONSES TO YOUR KIDS WERE DIFFERENT, 00:07:22.899 --> 00:07:23.769 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOUR FRIENDS, 00:07:24.298 --> 00:07:25.220 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOUR HUSBAND. 00:07:26.189 --> 00:07:30.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% WAS IT HARD FOR YOU TO BE THAT PAINFULLY HONEST IN THIS BOOK? 00:07:30.750 --> 00:07:31.028 line:85% position:50% size:80% UM, 00:07:31.108 --> 00:07:33.259 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY IS I AM THE VILLAIN IN THE BOOK 00:07:33.619 --> 00:07:34.579 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I'M 00:07:34.829 --> 00:07:36.420 line:85% position:50% size:80% ABOUT TO TURN 57. 00:07:36.709 --> 00:07:39.809 line:85% position:50% size:80% I DIDN'T DISCOVER THIS UNTIL I WAS 54, 00:07:40.149 --> 00:07:42.178 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I FEEL LIKE I LIVED MY LIFE BACKWARDS. 00:07:42.309 --> 00:07:45.379 line:85% position:50% size:80% I FEEL LIKE I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE NAVIGATING 00:07:45.750 --> 00:07:47.988 line:85% position:50% size:80% EVERY DECISION BASED ON PEOPLE'S MOODS OR WHAT 00:07:47.988 --> 00:07:50.798 line:85% position:50% size:80% WAS GONNA MAKE SOMEBODY HAPPY OR SOMEBODY'S EXPECTATIONS. 00:07:50.869 --> 00:07:53.939 line:85% position:50% size:80% I CHRONICALLY WORRIED ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WERE THINKING 00:07:54.470 --> 00:07:55.420 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND WHEN. 00:07:55.759 --> 00:07:58.670 line:85% position:50% size:80% I STARTED WRITING THIS BOOK AND BUILDING THE CASE FOR THIS. 00:07:58.790 --> 00:08:00.149 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT WAS ASTONISHING TO ME. 00:08:00.970 --> 00:08:02.600 line:85% position:50% size:80% HOW SIMPLE LIFE CAN BE 00:08:02.889 --> 00:08:04.358 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU LEARN THAT 00:08:04.649 --> 00:08:05.600 line:85% position:50% size:80% OTHER PEOPLE 00:08:05.809 --> 00:08:07.238 line:85% position:50% size:80% JUST LET THEM BE WHO THEY ARE, 00:08:07.488 --> 00:08:08.920 line:85% position:50% size:80% LET THEM BE WHO THEY'RE NOT 00:08:09.290 --> 00:08:09.980 line:85% position:50% size:80% STOP JUDGING, 00:08:10.449 --> 00:08:11.720 line:85% position:50% size:80% CONTROLLING AND CHANGING 00:08:11.959 --> 00:08:14.399 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND JUST LEARN TO ACCEPT PEOPLE AS THEY ARE 00:08:14.399 --> 00:08:17.319 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THEN FOCUS YOUR TIME AND ENERGY ON YOURSELF 00:08:17.608 --> 00:08:21.290 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND LIFE HAS A FUNNY WAY WHEN YOU PUT YOUR TIME AND ENERGY 00:08:21.290 --> 00:08:23.678 line:85% position:50% size:80% INTO LIVING YOUR LIFE IN A WAY WHERE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF, 00:08:23.809 --> 00:08:25.559 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU DON'T THINK A LOT ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE 00:08:26.088 --> 00:08:29.250 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO ACCEPT YOUR MOTHER AS SHE IS AND AS SHE'S NOT. 00:08:29.720 --> 00:08:31.079 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU CREATE 00:08:31.338 --> 00:08:35.009 line:85% position:50% size:80% MORE CONNECTION AND LOVE BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT JUDGING SOMEBODY ANYMORE. 00:08:35.210 --> 00:08:36.557 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'RE ACTUALLY CREATING 00:08:37.048 --> 00:08:39.798 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE CONDITIONS FOR A REALLY AUTHENTIC CONNECTION. 00:08:40.009 --> 00:08:40.359 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL, 00:08:40.529 --> 00:08:42.928 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND YOU TAKE ME TO MY NEXT QUESTION BECAUSE ONE OF 00:08:42.928 --> 00:08:45.759 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE MOST EMOTIONAL PARTS OF THE BOOK IS WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT 00:08:46.009 --> 00:08:48.418 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE ACCEPTANCE THAT YOU FIND FOR YOUR MOM WHO 00:08:48.418 --> 00:08:51.450 line:85% position:50% size:80% WASN'T ORIGINALLY SUPPORTIVE OF THE PERSON YOU CHOSE. 00:08:51.585 --> 00:08:54.125 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO MARRY NOT BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T LIKE HIM OR LOVE HIM, 00:08:54.484 --> 00:08:57.325 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT SHE WAS AFRAID OF LOSING YOU AND YOU GREW UP 00:08:57.774 --> 00:08:58.644 line:85% position:50% size:80% IN MICHIGAN. 00:08:59.654 --> 00:09:04.144 line:85% position:50% size:80% HOW DID THAT CONDITION YOU TO DO WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW? 00:09:04.413 --> 00:09:04.614 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL, 00:09:04.815 --> 00:09:07.695 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO I THINK BEING FROM THE MIDWEST AND HAVING TWO 00:09:07.695 --> 00:09:11.884 line:85% position:50% size:80% WORKING PARENTS AND HAVING PARENTS THAT WERE VERY MUCH IN 00:09:12.215 --> 00:09:13.413 line:85% position:50% size:80% DEEP WITH FAMILY. 00:09:13.700 --> 00:09:15.918 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND HAD VALUES AROUND SERVICE. 00:09:16.269 --> 00:09:18.320 line:85% position:50% size:80% I WOULD GO TO THE FARMER'S MARKET WITH MY MOTHER, 00:09:18.399 --> 00:09:20.519 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SHE KNEW EVERY 00:09:20.849 --> 00:09:22.320 line:85% position:50% size:80% SINGLE PERSON 00:09:22.729 --> 00:09:23.200 line:85% position:50% size:80% BY NAME. 00:09:23.288 --> 00:09:24.340 line:85% position:50% size:80% SHE KNEW THE NAME OF THEIR DOG. 00:09:24.450 --> 00:09:26.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% SHE KNEW THEIR KIDS LIKE AS A LITTLE KID IT 00:09:26.729 --> 00:09:28.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% WOULD DRIVE ME CRAZY BECAUSE SHE WOULD BE STANDING THERE. 00:09:28.808 --> 00:09:31.798 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE NEED TO BUY SOME PEACHES OR SOME SUGAR SNAP PEAS OR WHATEVER, 00:09:31.808 --> 00:09:34.678 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND WE'RE HAVING A 12 MINUTE CONVERSATION WITH LARRY, 00:09:34.710 --> 00:09:37.460 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND YOU KNOW I'M LIKE AN EIGHT YEAR OLD LIKE CAN WE LIKE I 00:09:37.808 --> 00:09:41.570 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND AND WHAT IT SHOWED AND MY DAD WAS AN ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON. 00:09:42.048 --> 00:09:46.609 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND HE WOULD VOLUNTEER ON THURSDAYS IN A RURAL HOSPITAL AND OUR 00:09:46.869 --> 00:09:49.908 line:85% position:50% size:80% KITCHEN WAS LIKE THE LOCAL KIND OF MINUTE CLINIC. 00:09:49.918 --> 00:09:52.308 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE DIDN'T HAVE THOSE BACK THEN IN THE LATE 70S AND 00:09:52.308 --> 00:09:55.859 line:85% position:50% size:80% EARLY 80S AND SO I SAW MODELED BY MY PARENTS. 00:09:56.690 --> 00:10:01.259 line:85% position:50% size:80% THIS DESIRE TO BE INTERESTED IN PEOPLE AND OF SERVICE 00:10:01.668 --> 00:10:05.139 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THEY TREATED EVERYBODY THAT WE WOULD BUMP INTO 00:10:05.139 --> 00:10:08.619 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHETHER YOU WERE BUYING CORN FROM A LOCAL FARMER 00:10:08.869 --> 00:10:13.070 line:85% position:50% size:80% OR YOU WERE VOLUNTEERING FOR THE SERVICE LEAGUE ORGANIZATION OR YOU'RE 00:10:13.070 --> 00:10:15.739 line:85% position:50% size:80% WALKING THROUGH THE HALLS OF A HOSPITAL OR A SCHOOL. 00:10:16.210 --> 00:10:18.200 line:85% position:50% size:80% I SAW MY PARENTS 00:10:18.649 --> 00:10:20.090 line:85% position:50% size:80% TREAT EVERYBODY EQUALLY. 00:10:20.129 --> 00:10:25.298 line:85% position:50% size:80% I SAW MY DAD VOLUNTEERING FOR THE FARM LEAGUE HOCKEY TEAM AT MC WALKER ARENA, 00:10:25.330 --> 00:10:26.000 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND HE'D BE, 00:10:26.210 --> 00:10:26.408 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW, 00:10:26.529 --> 00:10:28.320 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE HOMETOWN DOC FOR, 00:10:28.359 --> 00:10:28.529 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW, 00:10:28.570 --> 00:10:31.288 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE TEAM THAT WAS THE FARM LEAGUE FOR THE PITTSBURGH PENGUINS. 00:10:31.330 --> 00:10:33.000 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO I JUST HAD THIS 00:10:33.369 --> 00:10:35.139 line:85% position:50% size:80% IMPRINT THAT PEOPLE MATTER 00:10:35.570 --> 00:10:37.440 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT EVERYBODY CAN TEACH YOU SOMETHING 00:10:37.769 --> 00:10:41.129 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT A LIFE WELL LIVED IS ONE THAT IS LIVED DOING 00:10:41.129 --> 00:10:45.158 line:85% position:50% size:80% SOMETHING THAT CREATES MEANING AND I JUST CARRIED THAT WITH ME. 00:10:45.710 --> 00:10:46.769 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND AS YOU 00:10:47.330 --> 00:10:48.609 line:85% position:50% size:80% VERY OPENLY DISCUSSED, 00:10:48.739 --> 00:10:51.590 line:85% position:50% size:80% THERE WERE A LOT OF TWISTS AND TURNS IN YOUR JOURNEY 00:10:52.058 --> 00:10:52.649 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND 00:10:52.979 --> 00:10:56.210 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU WERE A LAWYER, 00:10:56.500 --> 00:10:57.250 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU WERE 00:10:57.538 --> 00:10:59.330 line:85% position:50% size:80% A RADIO TALK SHOW HOST 00:10:59.710 --> 00:11:03.460 line:85% position:50% size:80% FOR A PERIOD OF TIME AND THEN IN 2009, 00:11:03.538 --> 00:11:04.820 line:85% position:50% size:80% 41 YEARS OLD, 00:11:05.219 --> 00:11:06.408 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU SAY YOU HIT 00:11:06.739 --> 00:11:07.460 line:85% position:50% size:80% ROCK BOTTOM, 00:11:08.099 --> 00:11:09.330 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU WERE OUT OF A JOB. 00:11:09.460 --> 00:11:12.820 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOUR HUSBAND WAS STRUGGLING AS WELL PROFESSIONALLY. 00:11:13.158 --> 00:11:15.460 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU VERY CANDIDLY DISCUSSED THE FACT THAT YOU THINK 00:11:15.460 --> 00:11:18.769 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU WERE DRINKING TOO MUCH 100% DURING THIS PERIOD. 00:11:19.739 --> 00:11:23.330 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHAT WAS THAT MOMENT LIKE AND WHY WAS IT SO PIVOTAL FOR YOU? 00:11:23.700 --> 00:11:26.330 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO WE WERE $800,000 IN DEBT. 00:11:26.700 --> 00:11:28.099 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT, 00:11:28.379 --> 00:11:28.538 line:85% position:50% size:80% RIGHT? 00:11:28.690 --> 00:11:31.178 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU WANNA KIND OF WHEN WHEN YOUR LIFE STARTS FALLING APART, 00:11:31.340 --> 00:11:34.450 line:85% position:50% size:80% THERE ARE TIMES WHEN YOUR LIFE FALLS APART AND IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. 00:11:34.820 --> 00:11:35.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% IN MY CASE 00:11:35.979 --> 00:11:38.009 line:85% position:50% size:80% I WAS LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR IT 00:11:38.259 --> 00:11:39.379 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND IF I WERE TO ASK YOU. 00:11:40.859 --> 00:11:42.418 line:85% position:50% size:80% COULD YOU THINK OF 10 THINGS THAT YOU COULD 00:11:42.418 --> 00:11:44.969 line:85% position:50% size:80% DO TODAY THAT WOULD REALLY MAKE YOUR LIFE WORSE? 00:11:45.320 --> 00:11:45.869 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'D SAY YES, 00:11:45.879 --> 00:11:46.460 line:85% position:50% size:80% I CAN, 00:11:47.019 --> 00:11:48.019 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHICH ALSO MEANS 00:11:48.340 --> 00:11:51.349 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU COULD THINK OF 10 THINGS THAT YOU COULD DO TODAY THAT COULD MAKE IT BETTER. 00:11:51.580 --> 00:11:53.149 line:85% position:50% size:80% I THINK THAT'S AN IMPORTANT THING. 00:11:53.460 --> 00:11:56.139 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHAT HAPPENED TO ME IS THAT WHEN MY HUSBAND'S RESTAURANT 00:11:56.139 --> 00:11:58.058 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUSINESS STARTED TO GO UNDER AND IT WAS TAKING, 00:11:58.178 --> 00:11:59.389 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT TOOK OUR LIFE SAVINGS, 00:11:59.428 --> 00:12:00.330 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIENS HIT THE HOUSE, 00:12:00.379 --> 00:12:02.298 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE'VE GOT 3 KIDS UNDER THE AGE OF 10. 00:12:02.418 --> 00:12:03.219 line:85% position:50% size:80% I LOSE MY JOB. 00:12:03.849 --> 00:12:07.469 line:85% position:50% size:80% I HAD NEVER ENVISIONED A LIFE WHERE I WOULD FACE BANKRUPTCY. 00:12:07.558 --> 00:12:09.509 line:85% position:50% size:80% I WOULD BE AN ALCOHOLIC. 00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:12.908 line:85% position:50% size:80% I WOULD BE ON THE VERGE OF DIVORCE THAT I WOULD BE LOSING EVERYTHING THAT I 00:12:12.908 --> 00:12:15.719 line:85% position:50% size:80% CARED ABOUT AND WHAT'S INTERESTING ABOUT ROCK BOTTOM 00:12:15.719 --> 00:12:18.629 line:85% position:50% size:80% MOMENTS IS YOU HIT SOMETHING SOLID INSIDE YOU. 00:12:18.918 --> 00:12:20.210 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S BOTTOM 00:12:20.558 --> 00:12:23.349 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND WHAT YOU HIT IS THE RESOLVE TO CHANGE. 00:12:23.879 --> 00:12:24.229 line:85% position:50% size:80% SEE, 00:12:24.440 --> 00:12:29.590 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU CAN EITHER WAIT FOR THINGS TO GET WORSE BEFORE THEY GET BETTER 00:12:30.158 --> 00:12:32.599 line:85% position:50% size:80% OR YOU WAKE UP ONE DAY AND SAY. 00:12:33.369 --> 00:12:33.379 line:85% position:50% size:80% UH, 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:35.658 line:85% position:50% size:80% I DON'T WANT THIS TO GET WORSE. 00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:36.840 line:85% position:50% size:80% NOBODY'S COMING. 00:12:37.529 --> 00:12:40.029 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND IF THIS IS GONNA CHANGE, 00:12:40.080 --> 00:12:43.509 line:85% position:50% size:80% I HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR CHANGING IT MYSELF 00:12:43.798 --> 00:12:47.668 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO WHAT THAT MOMENT TAUGHT ME BECAUSE THE THE THE SIMPLEST THINGS 00:12:47.960 --> 00:12:48.908 line:85% position:50% size:80% WERE SO HARD 00:12:49.320 --> 00:12:50.080 line:85% position:50% size:80% GETTING OUT OF BED. 00:12:51.070 --> 00:12:54.229 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE BILLS I HADN'T OPENED MY BILLS IN 6 MONTHS. 00:12:54.899 --> 00:12:56.820 line:85% position:50% size:80% I HADN'T ASKED OUT FOR HELP. 00:12:56.899 --> 00:12:57.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% I HADN'T STOPPED DRINKING. 00:12:58.099 --> 00:12:59.250 line:85% position:50% size:80% I HADN'T LOOKED FOR A JOB. 00:12:59.460 --> 00:13:01.538 line:85% position:50% size:80% I WOULD WAKE UP EVERY MORNING AND LAY IN BED 00:13:01.538 --> 00:13:04.719 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE A HUMAN POT ROAST FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF, 00:13:04.859 --> 00:13:05.869 line:85% position:50% size:80% STARING AT THE CEILING, 00:13:05.899 --> 00:13:06.058 line:85% position:50% size:80% GOING, 00:13:06.099 --> 00:13:06.859 line:85% position:50% size:80% I HATE MY LIFE. 00:13:06.899 --> 00:13:07.750 line:85% position:50% size:80% I HATE MY HUSBAND, 00:13:07.820 --> 00:13:08.849 line:85% position:50% size:80% I HATE MYSELF, 00:13:09.298 --> 00:13:10.779 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND IT FELT EASIER. 00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:13.509 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO JUST AVOID 00:13:13.879 --> 00:13:16.359 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE THINGS THAT I KNEW I NEEDED TO DO AND I THINK 00:13:16.359 --> 00:13:19.629 line:85% position:50% size:80% THIS IS ONE OF THE CORE THINGS THAT I TRY TO TEACH, 00:13:19.960 --> 00:13:20.668 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHICH IS 00:13:21.239 --> 00:13:23.029 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO 00:13:23.279 --> 00:13:26.239 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND IF YOU DON'T GO TO AI AND JUST PUT IN YOUR PROBLEM, 00:13:26.320 --> 00:13:27.788 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'LL GIVE YOU 10 THINGS TO DO. 00:13:27.960 --> 00:13:29.479 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE PROBLEM'S GOING TO BE. 00:13:30.190 --> 00:13:32.038 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT YOU'RE GONNA WAIT TO FEEL READY 00:13:32.460 --> 00:13:36.808 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I GOT NEWS FOR YOU MOTIVATION IS GARBAGE IT'S NEVER THERE WHEN YOU NEED IT. 00:13:37.099 --> 00:13:39.690 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE TO TEACH YOURSELF 00:13:39.979 --> 00:13:41.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% THIS LIFE CHANGING SKILL 00:13:42.019 --> 00:13:43.969 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND HERE'S THE LIFE CHANGING SKILL 00:13:44.538 --> 00:13:48.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE TO TRAIN YOURSELF TO DO THINGS THAT YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING 00:13:48.979 --> 00:13:49.969 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND FOR ME 00:13:50.340 --> 00:13:53.019 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT STARTED WITH TEACHING MYSELF TO GET OUT OF BED. 00:13:53.690 --> 00:13:55.570 line:85% position:50% size:80% ON THOSE MORNINGS THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO WITH 00:13:55.570 --> 00:13:57.879 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE 5 2ND RULE THIS WAS TRANSFORMATIVE FOR YOU. 00:13:58.408 --> 00:13:58.849 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHAT IS IT? 00:13:58.969 --> 00:13:59.960 line:85% position:50% size:80% HOW DOES IT WORK? 00:14:00.129 --> 00:14:01.200 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S VERY SIMPLE. 00:14:01.408 --> 00:14:03.840 line:85% position:50% size:80% I THINK ABOUT SOME OF THE SONGS I SING WITH MY DAUGHTER, 00:14:04.408 --> 00:14:04.840 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW, 00:14:05.168 --> 00:14:06.219 line:85% position:50% size:80% COUNTING DOWN FROM 5, 00:14:06.609 --> 00:14:07.960 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT THIS WAS TRANSFORMATIVE 00:14:08.288 --> 00:14:08.719 line:85% position:50% size:80% FOR YOU. 00:14:09.210 --> 00:14:12.658 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO I WAS WATCHING TV AND I SAW THIS ROCKET SHIP LAUNCH ACROSS THE 00:14:12.658 --> 00:14:15.450 line:85% position:50% size:80% TV SCREEN AND IT GAVE ME THIS LIKE AT THE TIME STUPID IDEA. 00:14:15.529 --> 00:14:15.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% OK, 00:14:15.808 --> 00:14:17.639 line:85% position:50% size:80% I KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO TOMORROW MORNING. 00:14:17.649 --> 00:14:20.359 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'M GONNA LAUNCH MYSELF OUT OF BED LIKE A ROCKET 00:14:20.609 --> 00:14:23.320 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND MY THINKING WAS I'LL MOVE FAST ENOUGH. 00:14:23.658 --> 00:14:25.168 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO I WON'T BE IN THE BED WHEN THE 00:14:25.168 --> 00:14:29.519 line:85% position:50% size:80% ANXIETY AND THE DEPRESSION AND THE OVERWHELM PINS ME THERE 00:14:29.849 --> 00:14:31.320 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THE VERY NEXT MORNING 00:14:31.690 --> 00:14:33.879 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE ALARM RANG AND I'M GONNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING 00:14:34.250 --> 00:14:38.960 line:85% position:50% size:80% IN LIFE THERE IS A 5 2ND MOMENT THAT DEFINES YOUR WHOLE LIFE. 00:14:39.690 --> 00:14:42.889 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S THIS MOMENT BETWEEN INSPIRATION AND DISCOURAGEMENT. 00:14:43.808 --> 00:14:44.840 line:85% position:50% size:80% CONFIDENCE 00:14:45.048 --> 00:14:46.048 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SELF-DOUBT, 00:14:46.369 --> 00:14:47.769 line:85% position:50% size:80% COURAGE AND FEAR. 00:14:48.340 --> 00:14:49.619 line:85% position:50% size:80% HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT 00:14:49.849 --> 00:14:51.979 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU CAN KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, 00:14:52.090 --> 00:14:57.080 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT THEN YOU MAKE A FATAL MISTAKE AND YOU STOP AND YOU HESITATE AND YOU THINK 00:14:57.460 --> 00:14:58.840 line:85% position:50% size:80% ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL 00:14:59.288 --> 00:14:59.808 line:85% position:50% size:80% ABOUT IT 00:15:00.090 --> 00:15:03.529 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND WITHIN 5 SECONDS OF THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING. 00:15:04.979 --> 00:15:06.269 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU NO LONGER DO IT. 00:15:07.538 --> 00:15:10.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% PSYCHOLOGISTS HAVE LOTS OF FANCY TERMS FOR THIS LIKE A BIAS TOWARDS THINKING, 00:15:11.080 --> 00:15:12.109 line:85% position:50% size:80% A BIAS TOWARDS ACTION. 00:15:12.239 --> 00:15:14.190 line:85% position:50% size:80% ALL I KNEW IS THAT I WAS STUCK 00:15:14.719 --> 00:15:15.269 line:85% position:50% size:80% IN THIS 00:15:15.519 --> 00:15:16.678 line:85% position:50% size:80% HABIT OF HESITATING. 00:15:17.428 --> 00:15:19.070 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THAT MORNING, 00:15:19.200 --> 00:15:20.469 line:85% position:50% size:80% FOR WHATEVER REASON, 00:15:20.798 --> 00:15:21.690 line:85% position:50% size:80% AS THE ALARM WENT OFF, 00:15:21.759 --> 00:15:23.080 line:85% position:50% size:80% I REMEMBERED THE. 00:15:24.190 --> 00:15:27.168 line:85% position:50% size:80% DUMB ROCKET LAUNCH IDEA AND I STARTED THINKING I DON'T WANT TO. 00:15:27.250 --> 00:15:30.250 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S CALLED THIS WAS A TUESDAY MORNING IN FEBRUARY 2008. 00:15:30.609 --> 00:15:31.519 line:85% position:50% size:80% HOW IS THIS GONNA HELP? 00:15:31.639 --> 00:15:32.369 line:85% position:50% size:80% I HATE MY HUSBAND. 00:15:32.408 --> 00:15:34.330 line:85% position:50% size:80% I HATE AND I'VE STARTED REACHING FOR THE SNOOZE BUTTON, 00:15:34.369 --> 00:15:36.200 line:85% position:50% size:80% SOMETHING I HAD DONE FOR SIX MONTHS 00:15:36.489 --> 00:15:36.808 line:85% position:50% size:80% IN A ROW. 00:15:36.849 --> 00:15:38.889 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'D HIT THE SUCKER 4 OR 5 TIMES A MORNING. 00:15:39.070 --> 00:15:39.808 line:85% position:50% size:80% KIDS WOULD MISS THE BUS. 00:15:39.830 --> 00:15:40.928 line:85% position:50% size:80% THEY'D BE WAKING ME UP. 00:15:41.139 --> 00:15:43.129 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW YOU'RE FAILING AT PARENTING WHEN YOUR 00:15:43.129 --> 00:15:46.058 line:85% position:50% size:80% KIDS ARE WAKING YOU UP AFTER THEY MISS THE BUS. 00:15:46.288 --> 00:15:46.759 line:85% position:50% size:80% WOW. 00:15:46.928 --> 00:15:47.719 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT FOR WHATEVER REASON, 00:15:47.808 --> 00:15:50.928 line:85% position:50% size:80% I JUST STARTED COUNTING BACKWARDS 54321. 00:15:51.808 --> 00:15:52.950 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I STOOD UP 00:15:53.239 --> 00:15:53.950 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND IT WORKED 00:15:54.239 --> 00:15:57.879 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING IS IT FELT LIKE A VICTORY. 00:15:58.719 --> 00:15:59.379 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND IT WAS 00:16:00.190 --> 00:16:02.269 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT WAS THE FIRST TIME IN 6 MONTHS 00:16:02.558 --> 00:16:03.678 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT THE PROCRASTINATION, 00:16:03.759 --> 00:16:04.408 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE ANXIETY, 00:16:04.519 --> 00:16:04.879 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE FEAR, 00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:05.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE SHAME DIDN'T WIN. 00:16:06.479 --> 00:16:06.960 line:85% position:50% size:80% I DID. 00:16:07.570 --> 00:16:08.538 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE BETTER PART OF ME, 00:16:08.599 --> 00:16:09.908 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE KNOWING PART OF ME DID, 00:16:09.918 --> 00:16:13.080 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THIS IS THE IMPORTANT THING FEAR KILLS ACTION, 00:16:13.320 --> 00:16:15.149 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT ACTION KILLS FEAR 00:16:15.558 --> 00:16:18.029 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND YOU GOTTA STOP SITTING AROUND WAITING TO BE READY 00:16:18.239 --> 00:16:21.548 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND YOU GOTTA TEACH YOURSELF TO 54321 MOVE, 00:16:21.808 --> 00:16:24.200 line:85% position:50% size:80% DO THE THING BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU CHANGE YOUR LIFE. 00:16:24.239 --> 00:16:25.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU DON'T DO IT BY THINKING ABOUT IT. 00:16:26.359 --> 00:16:27.389 line:85% position:50% size:80% I WOULD IMAGINE 00:16:27.599 --> 00:16:28.109 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT 00:16:28.599 --> 00:16:32.349 line:85% position:50% size:80% DRINKING MAKES IT THAT MUCH HARDER TO EMPLOY THE 5 00:16:32.678 --> 00:16:33.668 line:85% position:50% size:80% 2ND RULE. 00:16:34.609 --> 00:16:37.798 line:85% position:50% size:80% CAN YOU TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT THAT AND, 00:16:37.840 --> 00:16:39.969 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ALCOHOL NOW? 00:16:40.048 --> 00:16:41.849 line:85% position:50% size:80% CAN YOU ENJOY A DRINK CASUALLY? 00:16:42.250 --> 00:16:43.090 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO I CAN ENJOY, 00:16:43.330 --> 00:16:45.649 line:85% position:50% size:80% ENJOY A DRINK CASUALLY AS I'VE HIT MENOPAUSE. 00:16:45.690 --> 00:16:48.129 line:85% position:50% size:80% I NOW UNDERSTAND LIKE HOW IT'S A REALLY BAD THING 00:16:48.129 --> 00:16:50.599 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO DO AND AS I GET OLDER AND PRIORITIZE SLEEP, 00:16:50.889 --> 00:16:55.359 line:85% position:50% size:80% I ALSO UNDERSTAND HOW DEVASTATING IT CAN BE FOR SLEEPING AND FOR WAKING UP. 00:16:55.690 --> 00:16:58.479 line:85% position:50% size:80% HERE'S WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW THEN THE NUMBER ONE 00:16:58.729 --> 00:17:00.450 line:85% position:50% size:80% SYMPTOM OF A HANGOVER. 00:17:01.048 --> 00:17:02.408 line:85% position:50% size:80% IS ANXIETY 00:17:02.678 --> 00:17:08.588 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THE REASON WHY IS WHEN YOU POUR ALL THIS ESSENTIALLY LIKE POISON INTO YOUR BODY 00:17:08.838 --> 00:17:12.229 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THEN YOU FALL ASLEEP YOUR BODY HAS TO PROCESS IT 00:17:12.719 --> 00:17:13.689 line:85% position:50% size:80% NOW WHEN YOU WAKE UP, 00:17:13.719 --> 00:17:17.680 line:85% position:50% size:80% WOMEN IN PARTICULAR NATURALLY HAVE HIGHER LEVELS OF CORTISOL, 00:17:17.759 --> 00:17:19.670 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE STRESS HORMONE IN YOUR BODY, 00:17:20.117 --> 00:17:24.199 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND IF YOU'RE ALSO BEEN PROCESSING ALCOHOL AND THEN THAT DROPS ALL 00:17:24.199 --> 00:17:26.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% KINDS OF LIKE HAS ALL KINDS OF CHEMICAL EFFECTS ON YOU, 00:17:27.199 --> 00:17:28.910 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOUR CORTISOL IS GONNA BE HIGHER. 00:17:29.380 --> 00:17:32.390 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO I WAS ALSO BASICALLY 00:17:32.650 --> 00:17:36.769 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW SCREWING MYSELF OVER BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW ANY OF THIS 00:17:37.118 --> 00:17:41.439 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO A LOT OF THE ANXIETY YES IT WAS SITUATIONAL BECAUSE WE HAD A LOT OF PROBLEMS, 00:17:41.449 --> 00:17:42.779 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT PROBLEMS 00:17:43.088 --> 00:17:44.279 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU COULD SOLVE. 00:17:45.449 --> 00:17:46.979 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT YOU DON'T SOLVE THEM 00:17:47.239 --> 00:17:48.489 line:85% position:50% size:80% BY THINKING ABOUT THEM, 00:17:48.838 --> 00:17:50.949 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU SOLVE THEM BY FACING THEM, 00:17:51.358 --> 00:17:53.108 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT WHEN I WOULD WAKE UP HUNGOVER, 00:17:53.239 --> 00:17:56.789 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE ANXIETY WAS SPIKING NOT JUST BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION, 00:17:57.078 --> 00:17:58.949 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT WAS ALSO SPIKING BECAUSE 00:17:59.199 --> 00:18:00.229 line:85% position:50% size:80% I WAS HUNGOVER 00:18:00.598 --> 00:18:02.680 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO ONE OF THE THINGS THAT'S EXCITING ABOUT 00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:05.608 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE 5 2ND RULE RESEARCHERS CALL IT A STARTING RITUAL 00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:08.680 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE A HABIT, 00:18:08.759 --> 00:18:10.400 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU DON'T TECHNICALLY BREAK IT. 00:18:10.939 --> 00:18:14.479 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE TO INTERRUPT IT AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTING 54321 DOES. 00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:15.949 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO LET'S SAY THAT YOU 00:18:16.598 --> 00:18:19.400 line:85% position:50% size:80% HAVE TROUBLE GETTING OUTSIDE AND TAKING A WALK EVERY DAY. 00:18:20.650 --> 00:18:22.420 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHEN THAT IMPULSE HITS, 00:18:22.689 --> 00:18:24.479 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE YOU'RE PHYSICALLY CAPABLE OF DOING IT, 00:18:24.489 --> 00:18:26.078 line:85% position:50% size:80% JUST COUNT BACKWARDS 54321, 00:18:26.088 --> 00:18:26.959 line:85% position:50% size:80% THEN START MOVING 00:18:27.598 --> 00:18:29.969 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE THEN YOU'VE INTERRUPTED THE PATTERN OF JUST THINKING 00:18:29.969 --> 00:18:32.199 line:85% position:50% size:80% ABOUT IT AND SITTING THERE AND HAVING THE MOMENT PASS 00:18:32.449 --> 00:18:36.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THEN YOU'RE REPLACING THE PROCRASTINATION WITH A DIFFERENT 00:18:37.279 --> 00:18:38.368 line:85% position:50% size:80% RESPONSE WHICH IS MOVING. 00:18:39.019 --> 00:18:39.838 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND 00:18:40.049 --> 00:18:40.299 line:85% position:50% size:80% MEL, 00:18:40.368 --> 00:18:41.608 line:85% position:50% size:80% DID YOU EVER 00:18:42.049 --> 00:18:43.289 line:85% position:50% size:80% FEEL LIKE JUST GIVING UP? 00:18:43.368 --> 00:18:44.838 line:85% position:50% size:80% DID YOU EVER THINK EVERY DAY, 00:18:44.930 --> 00:18:46.618 line:85% position:50% size:80% EVERY DAY I COUNTED 543, 00:18:46.650 --> 00:18:48.259 line:85% position:50% size:80% 21 LIKE A NUTCASE. 00:18:48.289 --> 00:18:50.318 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE I WAS COUNTING 54321, 00:18:50.328 --> 00:18:51.759 line:85% position:50% size:80% PICK UP THE PHONE AND LOOK FOR A JOB. 00:18:51.848 --> 00:18:52.009 line:85% position:50% size:80% I MEAN, 00:18:52.049 --> 00:18:52.689 line:85% position:50% size:80% I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, 00:18:52.729 --> 00:18:53.269 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT I DON'T, 00:18:53.410 --> 00:18:53.689 line:85% position:50% size:80% I HATE, 00:18:53.769 --> 00:18:54.368 line:85% position:50% size:80% I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE. 00:18:54.410 --> 00:18:54.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% I DON'T WANT TO. 00:18:54.838 --> 00:18:56.939 line:85% position:50% size:80% TALK TO PEOPLE ON THE PHONE 54321. 00:18:57.059 --> 00:18:58.568 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU HAVE A COLD CALLING JOB, 00:18:58.920 --> 00:19:00.608 line:85% position:50% size:80% THIS WILL 10X YOUR INCOME. 00:19:00.900 --> 00:19:02.650 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU ARE A PERSON WHO 00:19:02.979 --> 00:19:04.779 line:85% position:50% size:80% KNOWS YOU NEED TO TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF. 00:19:04.858 --> 00:19:10.818 line:85% position:50% size:80% 54321 HELPS YOU AS A TOOL PUSH YOURSELF THROUGH YOUR EXCUSES. 00:19:11.059 --> 00:19:11.098 line:85% position:50% size:80% YEAH, 00:19:11.180 --> 00:19:12.930 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE HAD DOCTOR DAVID ROSS MARIN, 00:19:13.219 --> 00:19:14.608 line:85% position:50% size:80% HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL PROFESSOR. 00:19:14.689 --> 00:19:17.049 line:85% position:50% size:80% HE RUNS THE CENTERS FOR ANXIETY AROUND THE WORLD. 00:19:17.098 --> 00:19:18.650 line:85% position:50% size:80% HE WAS ON THE MEL ROBBINS PODCAST, 00:19:18.660 --> 00:19:19.338 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I ASKED HIM. 00:19:20.568 --> 00:19:21.838 line:85% position:50% size:80% TELL ME ABOUT ANXIETY 00:19:23.009 --> 00:19:25.000 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE ANXIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING 00:19:25.289 --> 00:19:27.000 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S A MOMENT WHERE 00:19:27.449 --> 00:19:28.279 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU ARE 00:19:28.689 --> 00:19:29.439 line:85% position:50% size:80% DOUBTING 00:19:29.969 --> 00:19:31.509 line:85% position:50% size:80% SOMETHING HASN'T HAPPENED YET 00:19:31.818 --> 00:19:32.880 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE DAY AT WORK, 00:19:33.088 --> 00:19:34.880 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE CONVERSATION WITH YOUR PERSON, 00:19:35.130 --> 00:19:36.809 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT'S GONNA 00:19:36.809 --> 00:19:38.880 line:85% position:50% size:80% HAPPEN AND YOU'RE DOUBTING YOURSELF LIKE WHAT 00:19:39.068 --> 00:19:41.229 line:85% position:50% size:80% SHOULD YOU DO IN THAT MOMENT AND HE'S LIKE, 00:19:41.250 --> 00:19:41.328 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL, 00:19:41.368 --> 00:19:42.608 line:85% position:50% size:80% HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE 5 2ND RULE? 00:19:42.848 --> 00:19:43.229 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I WAS LIKE, 00:19:43.328 --> 00:19:44.368 line:85% position:50% size:80% OH DON'T PLAY ME AND HE'S LIKE, 00:19:44.410 --> 00:19:44.489 line:85% position:50% size:80% NO, 00:19:44.500 --> 00:19:44.719 line:85% position:50% size:80% NO, 00:19:44.729 --> 00:19:44.759 line:85% position:50% size:80% NO, 00:19:44.769 --> 00:19:45.130 line:85% position:50% size:80% MEL. 00:19:45.818 --> 00:19:50.779 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH ANXIETY IS WHEN YOU FEEL ANXIOUS YOU AVOID 00:19:51.189 --> 00:19:54.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE THING AND WHEN YOU AVOID SOMETHING YOU SIGNAL TO 00:19:54.989 --> 00:19:57.900 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOUR YOU'RE TELLING YOURSELF I'M NOT CAPABLE OF HANDLING THIS 00:19:58.390 --> 00:19:59.809 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHICH MAKES YOU MORE ANXIOUS 00:20:00.430 --> 00:20:04.779 line:85% position:50% size:80% EVERY SINGLE MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL IN THAT FIELD WILL TELL YOU 00:20:05.229 --> 00:20:07.180 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT YOU HAVE TO GET PEOPLE 00:20:07.469 --> 00:20:09.578 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO DO THE THINGS THAT THEY'RE SCARED OF. 00:20:09.930 --> 00:20:10.979 line:85% position:50% size:80% I DIDN'T KNOW THIS. 00:20:11.739 --> 00:20:14.809 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO 54321 IS USED IN CLINICAL SETTINGS. 00:20:14.828 --> 00:20:18.059 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT IS UNBELIEVABLY EFFECTIVE WITH ADDICTION 00:20:18.568 --> 00:20:21.660 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DO PATTERN INTERRUPTION 00:20:22.009 --> 00:20:24.838 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND A LOT OF WHAT I TALK ABOUT IS, 00:20:24.930 --> 00:20:25.088 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW, 00:20:25.170 --> 00:20:26.759 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'M A VERY SMART PERSON, 00:20:27.068 --> 00:20:28.449 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT I GET CAUGHT UP IN MY HEAD. 00:20:28.719 --> 00:20:32.618 line:85% position:50% size:80% I GET STRESSED OUT JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE AND KNOWLEDGE 00:20:33.189 --> 00:20:34.420 line:85% position:50% size:80% DOESN'T HELP YOU 00:20:34.709 --> 00:20:36.279 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU CAN'T REMEMBER IT 00:20:36.509 --> 00:20:37.789 line:85% position:50% size:80% OR YOU CAN'T APPLY IT 00:20:38.150 --> 00:20:41.868 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO IN THOSE MOMENTS WHERE YOU'RE PROCRASTINATING OR 00:20:41.868 --> 00:20:44.269 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'RE FULL OF SELF DOUBT OR YOU'RE FEELING ANXIOUS. 00:20:45.170 --> 00:20:46.489 line:85% position:50% size:80% KIND OF GOING UP IN YOUR HEAD AND GOING, 00:20:46.529 --> 00:20:46.689 line:85% position:50% size:80% OK, 00:20:46.729 --> 00:20:46.838 line:85% position:50% size:80% WAIT, 00:20:46.890 --> 00:20:47.900 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHAT WAS THAT THING THAT 00:20:48.608 --> 00:20:48.969 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT THAT 00:20:49.289 --> 00:20:54.739 line:85% position:50% size:80% JUST KEEPS ME STUCK AND SO 54321 APPLIES EVERYTHING AS A TOOL 00:20:55.088 --> 00:20:56.568 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO GET YOU MOVING AND 00:20:56.809 --> 00:20:58.180 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO ME WHAT'S EXCITING 00:20:58.890 --> 00:21:01.318 line:85% position:50% size:80% ABOUT WHETHER YOU'RE USING LET THEM AND LET ME 00:21:01.890 --> 00:21:06.130 line:85% position:50% size:80% OR YOU'RE USING 54321 OR ANY OF THE THINGS THAT YOU KNOW I 00:21:06.130 --> 00:21:09.680 line:85% position:50% size:80% TALK ABOUT ON SOCIAL MEDIA OR I SHARE ON THE MEL ROBBINS PODCAST, 00:21:09.848 --> 00:21:10.848 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHAT'S EXCITING. 00:21:11.410 --> 00:21:12.170 line:85% position:50% size:80% IS THAT 00:21:12.410 --> 00:21:15.068 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU THINK 00:21:15.799 --> 00:21:17.759 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE SO MUCH CAPACITY. 00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:20.118 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR THE BETTER. 00:21:21.150 --> 00:21:21.979 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND YET 00:21:22.380 --> 00:21:24.250 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE GET SO DISCOURAGED 00:21:24.618 --> 00:21:27.250 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO IF I CAN THROUGH MY 00:21:27.858 --> 00:21:30.368 line:85% position:50% size:80% BAD STORIES BECAUSE I'M THE VILLAIN IN THAT BOOK, 00:21:30.618 --> 00:21:34.219 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE YOU'LL EITHER SEE YOURSELF AND YOU'RE ENJOYABLE CHARACTER IN THE BOOK. 00:21:34.299 --> 00:21:36.969 line:85% position:50% size:80% I HAVE TO SAY I DON'T KNOW THAT I WOULD DESCRIBE YOU AS A VILLAIN. 00:21:37.180 --> 00:21:39.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'RE SOMEONE WHO I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE RELATE TO, 00:21:39.900 --> 00:21:40.059 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL, 00:21:40.229 --> 00:21:44.140 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE WE'RE ALL JEALOUS WE ALL WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. 00:21:44.219 --> 00:21:45.559 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE ALL GET PISSED OFF AT, 00:21:45.660 --> 00:21:45.828 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW, 00:21:45.858 --> 00:21:48.150 line:85% position:50% size:80% OUR FRIENDS AND OUR PARENTS FOR STUPID THINGS. 00:21:48.259 --> 00:21:49.539 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE ALL GET OUR FEELINGS HURT. 00:21:49.739 --> 00:21:50.509 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S NORMAL. 00:21:51.130 --> 00:21:51.920 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S NORMAL, 00:21:52.019 --> 00:21:55.588 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT I'M HERE TO TELL YOU YOU DON'T HAVE TO LET IT RUN YOUR LIFE. 00:21:56.118 --> 00:21:58.189 line:85% position:50% size:80% OTHER PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO BE A PROBLEM, 00:21:58.400 --> 00:21:58.598 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW, 00:21:58.640 --> 00:22:00.880 line:85% position:50% size:80% I REALIZED WE ALL HAVE FAMILIES BECAUSE IT TEACHES 00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:02.848 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HOW TO LOVE PEOPLE YOU HATE AT TIMES. 00:22:02.959 --> 00:22:03.789 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT REALLY DOES. 00:22:03.989 --> 00:22:05.689 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE THAT'S WHY WE HAVE FAMILIES 00:22:05.969 --> 00:22:06.170 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND, 00:22:06.239 --> 00:22:08.390 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND BECAUSE TWO THINGS CAN BE TRUE AT ONCE. 00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:12.219 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU CAN DEEPLY LOVE SOMEBODY AND NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THEY HAVE 00:22:12.479 --> 00:22:13.400 line:85% position:50% size:80% AN OPINION. 00:22:14.219 --> 00:22:15.160 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT OFFENDS YOU. 00:22:16.390 --> 00:22:17.769 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND YOU CAN 00:22:17.939 --> 00:22:20.900 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE LOVE SOMEBODY AND THEIR BEHAVIOR IN THE 00:22:20.900 --> 00:22:22.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% MORNING I'M TALKING ABOUT MY HUSBAND RIGHT NOW 00:22:23.009 --> 00:22:25.689 line:85% position:50% size:80% UM CAN REALLY IRRITATE YOU AND VICE VERSA 00:22:26.660 --> 00:22:27.209 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND 00:22:27.539 --> 00:22:31.848 line:85% position:50% size:80% THERE'S A DIFFERENT WAY TO GO THROUGH LIFE THAT'S MORE LOVING OF OTHER PEOPLE 00:22:32.140 --> 00:22:35.459 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THAT WORKS WITH THE RESEARCH AND SCIENCE AND THE SCIENCE IS IMPORTANT. 00:22:35.500 --> 00:22:37.650 line:85% position:50% size:80% I REALIZE I'M NOW FINALLY ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION 00:22:37.939 --> 00:22:40.618 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE THIS IF YOU JUST HEAR 543 21, 00:22:40.630 --> 00:22:42.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'RE LIKE THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD. 00:22:43.439 --> 00:22:46.549 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT IF YOU HEAR ALL THE RESEARCH AND YOU KNOW THAT WE KNOW MORE, 00:22:46.709 --> 00:22:49.239 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE KNOW OF MORE THAN 1000 PEOPLE WHO HAVE TAKEN THE 00:22:49.239 --> 00:22:52.699 line:85% position:50% size:80% TIME TO WRITE TO US WHO HAVE STOPPED THEMSELVES FROM ATTEMPTING SUICIDE 00:22:53.150 --> 00:22:54.979 line:85% position:50% size:80% BY COUNTING BACKWARDS AND ASKING FOR HELP, 00:22:55.189 --> 00:22:57.299 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE HEAR FROM ADDICTION SPECIALISTS, 00:22:57.348 --> 00:22:58.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, 00:22:58.630 --> 00:22:58.779 line:85% position:50% size:80% UH, 00:22:58.789 --> 00:23:02.699 line:85% position:50% size:80% LICENSED CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGISTS EVERY SINGLE DAY 00:23:03.029 --> 00:23:05.430 line:85% position:50% size:80% ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY'RE USING THE LET THEM THEORY. 00:23:06.939 --> 00:23:10.309 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THE 5 2ND RULE IN THEIR MEDICAL PRACTICES, 00:23:10.318 --> 00:23:10.858 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHY? 00:23:11.789 --> 00:23:15.709 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE THESE ARE TOOLS THAT HELP YOU ACCESS 00:23:16.039 --> 00:23:18.568 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE DEEPER RESEARCH AND TRAINING 00:23:18.959 --> 00:23:23.000 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT SO MANY PROFESSIONALS ARE TRYING TO EDUCATE US ABOUT 00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:26.400 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT IN A MOMENT WHERE YOU'RE JUST OVERWHELMED WITH SHAME 00:23:26.838 --> 00:23:27.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% OR LIFE IS JUST TOO MUCH, 00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:29.390 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIFE IS A LOT RIGHT NOW. 00:23:30.219 --> 00:23:30.900 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND 00:23:31.150 --> 00:23:32.459 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHAT MY MESSAGE IS, 00:23:32.469 --> 00:23:33.219 line:85% position:50% size:80% IS THAT 00:23:33.549 --> 00:23:37.489 line:85% position:50% size:80% FOR ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE SCARING YOU AND THAT YOU'RE OVERWHELMED BY, 00:23:37.588 --> 00:23:41.828 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S A VERY VALID EMOTION AND IT TELLS ME THAT YOU CARE DEEPLY. 00:23:43.078 --> 00:23:45.029 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT YOU HAVE TO SAY LET THEM 00:23:45.539 --> 00:23:47.219 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE THE THING HAS ALREADY HAPPENED. 00:23:48.338 --> 00:23:49.130 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE 00:23:49.779 --> 00:23:50.670 line:85% position:50% size:80% STUFF IS GOING ON, 00:23:50.699 --> 00:23:52.489 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE PERSON IS WHO THEY ARE. 00:23:52.779 --> 00:23:56.219 line:85% position:50% size:80% STOP EXPECTING OTHER PEOPLE TO CHANGE BECAUSE PEOPLE ONLY 00:23:56.219 --> 00:23:58.130 line:85% position:50% size:80% CHANGE WHEN THEY'RE READY TO CHANGE FOR THEMSELVES. 00:23:58.818 --> 00:24:02.068 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THE AMOUNT OF STRESS YOU'RE CREATING FOR YOURSELF AND THE AMOUNT OF 00:24:02.068 --> 00:24:06.420 line:85% position:50% size:80% TENSION THAT YOU PUT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE YOU WANT PEOPLE TO BE DIFFERENT 00:24:06.989 --> 00:24:08.588 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHEN YOU START SAYING LET THEM. 00:24:09.368 --> 00:24:11.549 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT FLOODS YOU WITH CLARITY AND PEACE. 00:24:11.750 --> 00:24:16.380 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT CREATES THIS ACCEPTANCE OF WHO SOMEBODY IS AND WHO THEY AREN'T. 00:24:17.439 --> 00:24:18.900 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THEN WHEN YOU SAY LET ME, 00:24:19.209 --> 00:24:20.549 line:85% position:50% size:80% THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART. 00:24:21.439 --> 00:24:23.670 line:85% position:50% size:80% DON'T YOU DARE EVER BELIEVE. 00:24:24.309 --> 00:24:25.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT YOU'RE NOT 00:24:25.848 --> 00:24:27.318 line:85% position:50% size:80% ABLE TO CHANGE THINGS FOR THE BETTER. 00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:30.709 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE I DON'T THINK CHANGE COMES FROM THE TOP. 00:24:31.239 --> 00:24:33.750 line:85% position:50% size:80% CHANGE COMES FROM WITHIN EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US. 00:24:34.358 --> 00:24:36.160 line:85% position:50% size:80% CHANGE STARTS IN A LIVING ROOM. 00:24:36.719 --> 00:24:39.150 line:85% position:50% size:80% CHANGE STARTS AT A DINING ROOM TABLE. 00:24:39.479 --> 00:24:45.549 line:85% position:50% size:80% CHANGE STARTS IN TERMS OF HOW YOU MANAGE YOUR STRESS AND HOW YOU ALIGN 00:24:45.838 --> 00:24:47.078 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE WAY THAT YOU SHOW UP IN LIFE. 00:24:47.160 --> 00:24:48.559 line:85% position:50% size:80% THIS IS THE LET ME PART. 00:24:49.059 --> 00:24:51.848 line:85% position:50% size:80% LET ME DECIDE WHAT DESERVES MY TIME AND ENERGY. 00:24:51.959 --> 00:24:52.828 line:85% position:50% size:80% LET ME, 00:24:53.160 --> 00:24:57.630 line:85% position:50% size:80% INSTEAD OF GIVING ALL OF MY ENERGY TO THESE THINGS THAT ARE OVERWHELMING, 00:24:57.838 --> 00:25:01.559 line:85% position:50% size:80% LET ME GET SERIOUS ABOUT THE IMPACT I WANNA TO MAKE BECAUSE I CAN MAKE AN IMPACT. 00:25:01.640 --> 00:25:03.660 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE IF YOU THINK ABOUT ANY MOMENT IN HISTORY 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:06.789 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHERE THERE'S BEEN MAJOR POSITIVE SOCIAL CHANGE. 00:25:07.549 --> 00:25:09.368 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT ALWAYS BEGINS 00:25:09.618 --> 00:25:10.890 line:85% position:50% size:80% IN SOMEBODY'S LIVING ROOM 00:25:11.180 --> 00:25:15.449 line:85% position:50% size:80% OR IN SOMEBODY'S COMMUNITY OR IN SOMEBODY'S BOY SCOUT TROOP OR IN SOMEBODY'S CHURCH 00:25:15.449 --> 00:25:20.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% OR SYNAGOGUE OR MOSQUE OR IN SOME VOLUNTEER GROUP IT STARTS WITH US. 00:25:21.299 --> 00:25:26.630 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR PODCAST AND IT'S ONE OF THE MOST LISTENED TO PODCASTS. 00:25:27.680 --> 00:25:28.799 line:85% position:50% size:80% IN THE COUNTRY, 00:25:28.890 --> 00:25:29.709 line:85% position:50% size:80% TIME MAGAZINE, 00:25:29.750 --> 00:25:30.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE WORLD, 00:25:30.670 --> 00:25:31.559 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'M PLAYING THAT YEAH, 00:25:31.949 --> 00:25:32.858 line:85% position:50% size:80% IN THE WORLD, 00:25:33.150 --> 00:25:37.779 line:85% position:50% size:80% TIME MAGAZINE SAID ABOUT YOU QUOTE WHAT ROBIN SELLS IS NOT JUST ADVICE. 00:25:38.108 --> 00:25:41.299 line:85% position:50% size:80% SHE'S OFFERING HER LISTENERS A REASON TO 00:25:41.890 --> 00:25:43.108 line:85% position:50% size:80% BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES. 00:25:43.229 --> 00:25:45.578 line:85% position:50% size:80% IS THAT HOW YOU SEE YOUR WORK AND WHAT YOU'RE DOING? 00:25:45.828 --> 00:25:46.029 line:85% position:50% size:80% YEAH, 00:25:46.229 --> 00:25:47.108 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE I UM. 00:25:48.410 --> 00:25:51.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% I THINK THAT THE THING THAT STANDS IN PEOPLE'S WAY IS DISCOURAGEMENT, 00:25:52.318 --> 00:25:53.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE SENSE THAT IT'S HOPELESS, 00:25:54.239 --> 00:25:57.910 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE SENSE THAT THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO THAT IS A LIE 00:25:58.400 --> 00:26:02.309 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT YOU HAVE EITHER BEEN SOLD OR THAT YOU'RE TELLING YOURSELF, 00:26:03.039 --> 00:26:03.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND 00:26:04.358 --> 00:26:07.289 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU HAVE ALL THE INFORMATION LIKE AGAIN 00:26:07.559 --> 00:26:09.130 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU CAN CREATE A LIST TODAY 00:26:09.640 --> 00:26:12.289 line:85% position:50% size:80% OF ALL THE THINGS YOU COULD DO TO RUIN YOUR LIFE. 00:26:13.229 --> 00:26:17.059 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU CAN CREATE A LIST OF ALL THE SIMPLE THINGS YOU COULD DO TO IMPROVE IT. 00:26:17.150 --> 00:26:18.108 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S EMOTIONAL FOR YOU. 00:26:18.229 --> 00:26:18.750 line:85% position:50% size:80% THIS IS PERSONAL. 00:26:19.328 --> 00:26:22.189 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S VERY PERSONAL FOR ME BECAUSE I SEE IT. 00:26:22.269 --> 00:26:22.430 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE, 00:26:22.549 --> 00:26:25.818 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE HAVE ANYWHERE BETWEEN 9 AND 11 MILLION PEOPLE 00:26:26.068 --> 00:26:27.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT LISTEN TO THIS SHOW EVERY WEEK. 00:26:28.199 --> 00:26:32.430 line:85% position:50% size:80% PEOPLE HAVE SPENT 38.5 MILLION HOURS WATCHING 00:26:32.539 --> 00:26:34.670 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE MEL ROBBINS PODCAST ON YOUTUBE. 00:26:34.959 --> 00:26:37.868 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT IS THE EQUIVALENT OF WATCHING MY SHOW 00:26:38.279 --> 00:26:41.709 line:85% position:50% size:80% FOR 4,0087 YEARS STRAIGHT, 00:26:42.519 --> 00:26:42.858 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND 00:26:43.078 --> 00:26:46.479 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE'RE AT A MOMENT IN TIME WHERE PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THEMSELVES, 00:26:46.549 --> 00:26:48.348 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO IT DOES NOT, 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:50.630 line:85% position:50% size:80% I DO NOT TAKE IT LIGHTLY 00:26:51.400 --> 00:26:57.439 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT TEACHERS AND NURSES AND EMTS AND YOU KNOW ARE FINDING TIME. 00:26:58.209 --> 00:27:00.199 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO LISTEN TO SOMETHING 00:27:00.449 --> 00:27:02.559 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT REMINDS YOU OF WHAT MATTERS TO YOU, 00:27:02.568 --> 00:27:04.890 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT REMINDS YOU THAT YOU DO HAVE POWER, 00:27:04.930 --> 00:27:06.078 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT REMINDS YOU 00:27:06.368 --> 00:27:10.358 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AND BEING A GOOD FRIEND ARE IMPORTANT 00:27:10.729 --> 00:27:12.400 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THAT MATTERS. 00:27:13.170 --> 00:27:13.880 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHEN YOU 00:27:14.410 --> 00:27:15.838 line:85% position:50% size:80% HAVE SUCH A BIG IMPACT, 00:27:16.088 --> 00:27:17.439 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE THE PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT YOU, 00:27:17.459 --> 00:27:19.170 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE YOUR CRITICS AS WELL. 00:27:19.250 --> 00:27:22.689 line:85% position:50% size:80% SOME PEOPLE SAY THIS ADVICE IS SIMPLISTIC PSYCHOLOGIST 00:27:22.689 --> 00:27:24.400 line:85% position:50% size:80% JIM TAYLOR TOLD THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, 00:27:24.410 --> 00:27:24.759 line:85% position:50% size:80% QUOTE, 00:27:25.009 --> 00:27:28.289 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU WOULDN'T GO TO A SURGEON WHO NEVER WENT TO MEDICAL SCHOOL. 00:27:28.410 --> 00:27:30.000 line:85% position:50% size:80% HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THAT? 00:27:30.130 --> 00:27:30.680 line:85% position:50% size:80% LET HIM. 00:27:31.130 --> 00:27:31.578 line:85% position:50% size:80% HE'S RIGHT. 00:27:31.689 --> 00:27:32.618 line:85% position:50% size:80% I WOULDN'T GO TO A SURGEON. 00:27:32.890 --> 00:27:34.880 line:85% position:50% size:80% I I I DON'T TAKE PRIVATE CLIENTS. 00:27:35.489 --> 00:27:36.140 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'M NOT A THERAPIST. 00:27:36.568 --> 00:27:38.219 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU DON'T EVER TAKE PRIVATE ABSOLUTELY NOT. 00:27:38.529 --> 00:27:39.160 line:85% position:50% size:80% ABSOLUTELY NOT. 00:27:39.930 --> 00:27:41.809 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'M SHARING MY STORY. 00:27:42.250 --> 00:27:46.029 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I'M TRYING MY BEST TO DISTILL 00:27:46.719 --> 00:27:51.108 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE MOST COMPLICATED AMAZING EXQUISITE RESEARCH, 00:27:51.559 --> 00:27:55.309 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE TAKEAWAYS FROM THE BEST MINDS ON THE PLANET 00:27:55.598 --> 00:27:56.630 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND MAKE THEM 00:27:57.000 --> 00:28:02.630 line:85% position:50% size:80% SOMETHING THAT ANY PERSON CAN SHARE WITH SOMEBODY ELSE AT A KITCHEN TABLE, 00:28:02.959 --> 00:28:07.229 line:85% position:50% size:80% MAKE IT SOMETHING THAT'S RELEVANT TO A BUSY PARENT BECAUSE ADVICE AND INFORMATION, 00:28:07.279 --> 00:28:08.509 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S USELESS. 00:28:08.890 --> 00:28:10.618 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU CAN'T APPLY IT TO YOUR LIFE 00:28:10.989 --> 00:28:13.439 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I WOULD WAY RATHER BE USEFUL 00:28:13.750 --> 00:28:14.650 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO SOMEBODY 00:28:14.910 --> 00:28:16.098 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAN SMARTER THAN THEM 00:28:16.509 --> 00:28:19.250 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO YOU KNOW ANYBODY THAT 00:28:19.630 --> 00:28:22.039 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT CRITICIZES ME FOR BEING SIMPLISTIC 00:28:22.309 --> 00:28:23.059 line:85% position:50% size:80% LET THEM 00:28:23.588 --> 00:28:26.180 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE IT'S SO EASY TO OVERCOMPLICATE LIFE. 00:28:26.759 --> 00:28:28.858 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO MAKE IT SIMPLE. 00:28:28.959 --> 00:28:30.588 line:85% position:50% size:80% IS THAT PART OF THE STRENGTH, 00:28:30.670 --> 00:28:32.949 line:85% position:50% size:80% DO YOU THINK IN YOUR MESSAGE THAT IT IS 00:28:32.949 --> 00:28:35.390 line:85% position:50% size:80% EASY FOR PEOPLE TO REMEMBER THEY'RE NOT GRASPING? 00:28:35.489 --> 00:28:36.539 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S 100% 00:28:36.989 --> 00:28:37.868 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S, 00:28:37.910 --> 00:28:40.019 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S LIFE IS COMPLICATED ENOUGH 00:28:40.309 --> 00:28:42.578 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I ALSO UNDERSTAND THE RESEARCH 00:28:42.868 --> 00:28:45.269 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT IF YOU'RE STRESSED OUT, 00:28:45.828 --> 00:28:47.098 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOUR AMYGDALA, 00:28:47.309 --> 00:28:47.799 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHICH IS, 00:28:47.858 --> 00:28:48.068 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW, 00:28:48.150 --> 00:28:51.858 line:85% position:50% size:80% THIS LITTLE PART OF YOUR BRAIN RIGHT HERE THAT GETS YOU ALL FREAKED OUT ABOUT THINGS. 00:28:52.318 --> 00:28:53.539 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S RUNNING THE SHOW. 00:28:53.949 --> 00:28:55.049 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE RESEARCH IS VERY CLEAR. 00:28:55.150 --> 00:28:56.509 line:85% position:50% size:80% DOCTOR ADIDI NAKKAR, 00:28:56.549 --> 00:29:00.229 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHO IS ONE OF THE 57 EXPERTS THAT ARE CITED IN THIS BOOK, 00:29:00.309 --> 00:29:02.029 line:85% position:50% size:80% THERE'S AN 18 PAGE BIBLIOGRAPHY. 00:29:02.068 --> 00:29:05.140 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE SCIENCE MATTERS BECAUSE IF THE ADVICE SOUNDS SIMPLE, 00:29:05.670 --> 00:29:06.979 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU LIKE ROLL YOUR EYES AT IT, 00:29:07.029 --> 00:29:07.259 line:85% position:50% size:80% RIGHT? 00:29:07.430 --> 00:29:07.469 line:85% position:50% size:80% OH, 00:29:07.509 --> 00:29:10.380 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT CAN'T POSSIBLY WORK IF IT'S THAT OBVIOUS. 00:29:10.670 --> 00:29:10.709 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL, 00:29:10.750 --> 00:29:12.430 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S ONLY OBVIOUS NOW BECAUSE IT PROVED IT. 00:29:13.459 --> 00:29:15.769 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S ONLY OBVIOUS NOW BECAUSE 00:29:16.049 --> 00:29:17.838 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE SECOND YOU SAY LET ME 00:29:18.289 --> 00:29:19.088 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU REMIND YOURSELF, 00:29:19.209 --> 00:29:21.170 line:85% position:50% size:80% WAIT I DO HAVE CHOICES AND OPTIONS. 00:29:21.368 --> 00:29:24.209 line:85% position:50% size:80% LET ME IS HOW YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR 00:29:24.209 --> 00:29:26.318 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIFE AND LET'S LOOK AT THE WORD RESPONSIBILITY. 00:29:26.568 --> 00:29:27.809 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S THE ABILITY TO RESPOND. 00:29:28.430 --> 00:29:28.920 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND 00:29:29.049 --> 00:29:30.930 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S STOICISM THAT'S BUDDHISM, 00:29:31.029 --> 00:29:34.559 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S VIKTOR FRANKL'S SEMINAL WORK MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING 00:29:34.930 --> 00:29:35.449 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT 00:29:36.049 --> 00:29:38.118 line:85% position:50% size:80% POWER IS NOT IN WHAT'S HAPPENING OUT THERE. 00:29:38.939 --> 00:29:40.519 line:85% position:50% size:80% INDIVIDUAL POWER 00:29:41.088 --> 00:29:44.039 line:85% position:50% size:80% IS IN FOCUSING ON YOUR RESPONSE 00:29:44.430 --> 00:29:45.799 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO WHAT'S HAPPENING OUT THERE. 00:29:46.009 --> 00:29:47.959 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU DON'T CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE 00:29:48.250 --> 00:29:49.368 line:85% position:50% size:80% BY TRYING TO CHANGE THEM. 00:29:49.449 --> 00:29:52.618 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AROUND YOU BY CHANGING YOURSELF, 00:29:52.719 --> 00:29:53.848 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I KNOW WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF TIME. 00:29:53.890 --> 00:29:55.400 line:85% position:50% size:80% I JUST HAVE A FEW MORE QUESTIONS. 00:29:55.568 --> 00:29:58.799 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE SPOKEN VERY HONESTLY ABOUT THE FACT THAT 00:29:59.088 --> 00:30:00.348 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'VE STRUGGLED WITH ANXIETY, 00:30:00.449 --> 00:30:01.088 line:85% position:50% size:80% ADHD, 00:30:01.098 --> 00:30:02.150 line:85% position:50% size:80% DYSLEXIA. 00:30:02.328 --> 00:30:03.489 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU GOT THOSE DIAGNOSES, 00:30:03.568 --> 00:30:06.250 line:85% position:50% size:80% ADHD AND DYSLEXIA LATER IN LIFE IN YOUR. 00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:06.930 line:85% position:50% size:80% 40S, 00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:08.250 line:85% position:50% size:80% WAS THAT A RELIEF? 00:30:08.318 --> 00:30:09.489 line:85% position:50% size:80% WAS IT A SURPRISE? 00:30:09.568 --> 00:30:10.049 line:85% position:50% size:80% WAS IT, 00:30:10.420 --> 00:30:10.939 line:85% position:50% size:80% OH MY GOD, 00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:13.088 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT WAS WELCOMED THE DIAGNOSIS. 00:30:13.180 --> 00:30:14.380 line:85% position:50% size:80% DID EVERYTHING WELL FIRST OF ALL, 00:30:14.420 --> 00:30:16.449 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT WAS A IT WAS A CASSEROLE OF EMOTIONS 00:30:17.059 --> 00:30:21.170 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE I WAS DIAGNOSED AT THE AGE OF 47 THE WAY THE MAJORITY OF WOMEN ARE 00:30:21.618 --> 00:30:23.660 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE OUR KIDS ARE GOING THROUGH THE PROCESS OF A 00:30:23.660 --> 00:30:26.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% NEUROPSYCH EXAM BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN LABELED A PROBLEM AT SCHOOL 00:30:27.338 --> 00:30:27.818 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND YOU'RE LIKE, 00:30:27.858 --> 00:30:27.939 line:85% position:50% size:80% NO, 00:30:27.979 --> 00:30:28.088 line:85% position:50% size:80% NO, 00:30:28.098 --> 00:30:28.150 line:85% position:50% size:80% NO, 00:30:28.180 --> 00:30:29.368 line:85% position:50% size:80% I THINK SOMETHING ELSE IS GOING ON. 00:30:29.420 --> 00:30:32.489 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO THEN THEY GET EVALUATED AND SUDDENLY MY SON'S GOT 00:30:32.489 --> 00:30:35.420 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE DYSLEXIA AND ADHD AND I SAY TO HIS PEDIATRICIAN. 00:30:36.039 --> 00:30:36.509 line:85% position:50% size:80% MARK, 00:30:36.959 --> 00:30:38.039 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT SOUNDS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE ME. 00:30:38.078 --> 00:30:38.920 line:85% position:50% size:80% DO YOU THINK I MIGHT HAVE THAT? 00:30:38.979 --> 00:30:39.390 line:85% position:50% size:80% HE'S LIKE, 00:30:39.479 --> 00:30:40.108 line:85% position:50% size:80% MEL, 00:30:40.759 --> 00:30:42.318 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'RE THE MOST ADHD PARENT I KNOW. 00:30:42.358 --> 00:30:42.670 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S LIKE, 00:30:42.680 --> 00:30:43.439 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 00:30:43.479 --> 00:30:43.868 line:85% position:50% size:80% HE'S LIKE, 00:30:43.959 --> 00:30:44.868 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'M NOT YOUR DOCTOR, 00:30:44.920 --> 00:30:45.348 line:85% position:50% size:80% MEL. 00:30:45.809 --> 00:30:47.598 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO IT WAS THIS REVELATION. 00:30:48.459 --> 00:30:50.068 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT I'M NOT CRAZY, 00:30:50.239 --> 00:30:50.868 line:85% position:50% size:80% NUMBER ONE, 00:30:50.880 --> 00:30:52.828 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THEN WHEN I DUG INTO IT, 00:30:53.400 --> 00:30:55.910 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THIS IS WHY I TALK ABOUT THIS SO MUCH, 00:30:56.239 --> 00:30:58.368 line:85% position:50% size:80% THERE'S A MASSIVE GENERATION OF WOMEN. 00:30:59.118 --> 00:31:00.939 line:85% position:50% size:80% THEY'RE CALLED THE LOST GENERATION. 00:31:02.029 --> 00:31:02.699 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHERE 00:31:03.309 --> 00:31:06.269 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE THEY ONLY STUDIED BOYS IN THE 1970S, 00:31:06.390 --> 00:31:09.809 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE DIAGNOSIS WAS ABOUT THE SYMPTOMS THAT BOYS EXPERIENCE. 00:31:09.900 --> 00:31:12.930 line:85% position:50% size:80% GIRLS EXPERIENCE ADHD AT THE SAME RATES AS BOYS. 00:31:13.068 --> 00:31:14.348 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE HAVE DIFFERENT SYMPTOMS. 00:31:14.608 --> 00:31:15.348 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE'RE QUIETER, 00:31:15.390 --> 00:31:16.309 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE GO INTERNAL, 00:31:16.348 --> 00:31:17.900 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE START DOUBTING OURSELVES. 00:31:18.269 --> 00:31:20.809 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU ARE 00:31:20.809 --> 00:31:23.618 line:85% position:50% size:80% NOT DIAGNOSED PROPERLY WITH LANGUAGE-BASED LEARNING, 00:31:23.719 --> 00:31:24.799 line:85% position:50% size:80% EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING, 00:31:24.868 --> 00:31:26.699 line:85% position:50% size:80% ANY TYPE OF ATTENTION ISSUE, 00:31:27.170 --> 00:31:29.108 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE PRIMARY SYMPTOM THAT DEVELOPS. 00:31:29.529 --> 00:31:31.299 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU HAVE TO SIT IN A CLASSROOM ALL DAY WHERE 00:31:31.299 --> 00:31:34.209 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOUR BRAIN DOESN'T OPERATE THE WAY EVERYBODY ELSE'S DOES IS ANXIETY. 00:31:34.750 --> 00:31:35.650 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO YOU HAVE 00:31:36.180 --> 00:31:37.689 line:85% position:50% size:80% GOD KNOWS HOW MANY MILLIONS OF WOMEN. 00:31:38.549 --> 00:31:38.979 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT 00:31:39.189 --> 00:31:41.059 line:85% position:50% size:80% TOOK ANTI-ANXIETY MEDICATION. 00:31:41.150 --> 00:31:42.630 line:85% position:50% size:80% I WAS ON ZOLOFT FOR TWO DECADES. 00:31:43.489 --> 00:31:45.400 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHEN THE PRIMARY ISSUE. 00:31:46.588 --> 00:31:51.739 line:85% position:50% size:80% WAS DYSLEXIA AND ADHD AND SO THERE WAS A PART OF ME THAT WAS PISSED HONESTLY 00:31:52.229 --> 00:31:56.420 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT I WENT THROUGH YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS AND SO DID SO MANY OTHER WOMEN. 00:31:57.549 --> 00:31:58.259 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE 00:31:58.670 --> 00:32:00.279 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE DIDN'T STUDY GIRLS 00:32:00.549 --> 00:32:01.019 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND 00:32:01.390 --> 00:32:04.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% ONCE I UNDERSTOOD WHAT I WAS DEALING WITH 00:32:04.828 --> 00:32:06.868 line:85% position:50% size:80% I AND I STARTED TALKING ABOUT IT AND THIS IS 00:32:06.868 --> 00:32:09.900 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHY I'M SO OPEN ABOUT EVERYTHING WHEN YOU'RE QUIET ABOUT IT 00:32:10.269 --> 00:32:13.479 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'RE REINFORCING TO YOURSELF THAT THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU WHEN YOU 00:32:13.479 --> 00:32:16.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% START TALKING TO YOUR FRIENDS OR YOUR FAMILY OR LOOKING ONLINE, 00:32:16.789 --> 00:32:17.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'LL REALIZE, 00:32:17.750 --> 00:32:18.130 line:85% position:50% size:80% OH, 00:32:18.269 --> 00:32:20.618 line:85% position:50% size:80% THIS THING THAT I'M DEALING WITH OR MY KIDS ARE DEALING WITH, 00:32:20.828 --> 00:32:22.338 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE NOT ONLY AM I NOT THE ONLY ONE, 00:32:22.348 --> 00:32:23.828 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT THERE'S THINGS I CAN DO. 00:32:24.209 --> 00:32:27.588 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM THAT YOU'RE DEALING WITH, 00:32:28.118 --> 00:32:29.279 line:85% position:50% size:80% HAS SOLUTIONS. 00:32:30.449 --> 00:32:31.469 line:85% position:50% size:80% NOW YOU CAN DO SOME. 00:32:32.818 --> 00:32:33.368 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU 00:32:33.578 --> 00:32:36.430 line:85% position:50% size:80% HAVE ALSO TALKED ABOUT YOUR CONCERNS ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA. 00:32:36.519 --> 00:32:38.739 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU HAVE MORE THAN 35 MILLION FOLLOWERS, 00:32:38.900 --> 00:32:40.799 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHICH IS JUST REMARKABLE. 00:32:42.630 --> 00:32:42.640 line:85% position:50% size:80% UM, 00:32:42.650 --> 00:32:42.660 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL, 00:32:42.699 --> 00:32:42.890 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW, 00:32:42.900 --> 00:32:44.769 line:85% position:50% size:80% ONE OF THE BEST THINGS ABOUT THE SUCCESS, 00:32:44.939 --> 00:32:46.088 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT CAME LATE IN LIFE. 00:32:46.739 --> 00:32:48.858 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHEN YOU HAVE AN EXPERIENCE IN YOUR FORTIES WHERE 00:32:48.858 --> 00:32:50.729 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU ALMOST LOSE EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS TO YOU, 00:32:50.739 --> 00:32:51.650 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU DON'T FORGET THAT. 00:32:52.180 --> 00:32:53.769 line:85% position:50% size:80% I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE 00:32:54.140 --> 00:32:54.568 line:85% position:50% size:80% TO 00:32:54.818 --> 00:32:56.170 line:85% position:50% size:80% HAVE GROCERY SCAN, 00:32:56.660 --> 00:32:58.588 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I KNOW THAT I DON'T HAVE MONEY, 00:32:58.900 --> 00:33:01.910 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I'M HOPING THERE'S SOME GLITCH IN THE CHECK CARD. 00:33:02.519 --> 00:33:04.219 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SOMEHOW IT'S GONNA GO THROUGH. 00:33:04.949 --> 00:33:05.769 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND IT DOESN'T, 00:33:05.858 --> 00:33:08.209 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND YOU HAVE TO GRAB YOUR 3 KIDS 00:33:08.900 --> 00:33:10.098 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND WALK OUT OF THERE. 00:33:11.380 --> 00:33:13.489 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT IS A MOMENT THAT YOU NEVER FORGET, 00:33:13.670 --> 00:33:17.858 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO I AM GRATEFUL THAT ALL OF THIS HAPPENED LATER. 00:33:18.588 --> 00:33:21.338 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN WHAT MATTERS 00:33:21.509 --> 00:33:24.868 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND WHAT MATTERS TO ME IS MY FAMILY WHAT MATTERS TO ME IS MY 00:33:24.868 --> 00:33:28.410 line:85% position:50% size:80% FRIENDSHIPS WHAT MATTERS TO ME IS THAT I WAKE UP EVERY DAY AND I'M 00:33:28.789 --> 00:33:31.910 line:85% position:50% size:80% PROUD OF THE PERSON THAT I AM AND I KNOW THAT I'M DOING THE 00:33:31.910 --> 00:33:35.789 line:85% position:50% size:80% BEST THAT I CAN AND I'M FAST TO APOLOGIZE WHEN I *** THINGS UP. 00:33:36.279 --> 00:33:38.130 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND MY HOPE IS THAT 00:33:38.348 --> 00:33:40.670 line:85% position:50% size:80% BY SHARING SOME OF THE THINGS THAT I'M LEARNING, 00:33:40.789 --> 00:33:43.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% SHARING OPENLY ABOUT THE MISTAKES THAT I'VE MADE 00:33:43.750 --> 00:33:44.459 line:85% position:50% size:80% AS A PARENT, 00:33:44.670 --> 00:33:45.539 line:85% position:50% size:80% AS A SPOUSE, 00:33:45.630 --> 00:33:46.779 line:85% position:50% size:80% AS A HUMAN BEING, 00:33:47.108 --> 00:33:49.549 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF I CAN SAVE ANYBODY ELSE THE HEADACHE AND HEARTACHE THAT 00:33:49.549 --> 00:33:52.338 line:85% position:50% size:80% I CAUSED MYSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE I JUST DIDN'T KNOW. 00:33:53.150 --> 00:33:53.848 line:85% position:50% size:80% I DIDN'T KNOW. 00:33:53.858 --> 00:33:55.380 line:85% position:50% size:80% I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO BETTER, 00:33:55.410 --> 00:33:57.699 line:85% position:50% size:80% THEN THAT TO ME IS A LIFE WELL LIVED. 00:33:58.229 --> 00:34:00.469 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHO DOES MEL ROBBINS TAKE ADVICE FROM? 00:34:00.789 --> 00:34:01.390 line:85% position:50% size:80% EVERYBODY. 00:34:01.979 --> 00:34:05.969 line:85% position:50% size:80% I LOOK AT LIFE AS A LONG WALK WITH FRIENDS 00:34:06.420 --> 00:34:08.579 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THERE ARE MOMENTS WHEN YOU'RE AHEAD OF ME A COUPLE 00:34:08.579 --> 00:34:11.489 line:85% position:50% size:80% STEPS AND THERE ARE THINGS THAT AS WE'RE ON THIS WALK 00:34:11.780 --> 00:34:12.699 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT I CAN LEARN FROM YOU. 00:34:13.498 --> 00:34:16.579 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM THAT'S RUNNING THE CAMERAS, 00:34:16.617 --> 00:34:17.298 line:85% position:50% size:80% I THINK DOUGLAS, 00:34:17.338 --> 00:34:17.509 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW, 00:34:17.617 --> 00:34:20.648 line:85% position:50% size:80% OVER THERE WHO MICED ME UP LIKE THERE ARE THINGS I CAN LEARN FROM HIM 00:34:20.978 --> 00:34:25.128 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND SO IF YOU TAKE AN APPROACH THAT EVERY SINGLE PERSON 00:34:25.498 --> 00:34:26.739 line:85% position:50% size:80% HAS SOMETHING TO TEACH YOU. 00:34:27.519 --> 00:34:30.389 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER THAT WE CAN LEARN FROM EACH OTHER. 00:34:31.610 --> 00:34:33.559 line:85% position:50% size:80% THEN YOU'RE ALWAYS A STUDENT BECAUSE LIFE IS 00:34:33.559 --> 00:34:36.090 line:85% position:50% size:80% THE SINGLE GREATEST SCHOOL YOU'RE EVER GONNA ATTEND. 00:34:36.860 --> 00:34:41.648 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF YOU COULD TALK TO THE 41 YEAR OLD VERSION OF YOURSELF LAYING IN BED 00:34:41.938 --> 00:34:43.030 line:85% position:50% size:80% FILLED WITH DOUBT 00:34:43.340 --> 00:34:44.438 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND ANXIETY, 00:34:44.739 --> 00:34:45.619 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO HER? 00:34:45.750 --> 00:34:47.260 line:85% position:50% size:80% GET OUT OF BED LIKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 00:34:47.449 --> 00:34:50.530 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE YOU'RE NOT SOLVING YOUR PROBLEMS IN THERE LIKE COME ON 00:34:50.978 --> 00:34:52.969 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE GOT YOU GOT YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS 00:34:53.780 --> 00:34:56.378 line:85% position:50% size:80% SERIOUSLY THEY'RE LIKE STOP LIKING YOU'VE LICKED YOUR WOUNDS 00:34:56.378 --> 00:34:58.539 line:85% position:50% size:80% FOR LONG THERE'S A TIME FOR LICKING YOUR WOUNDS. 00:34:59.139 --> 00:35:01.378 line:85% position:50% size:80% THERE IS A TIME TO BE DOWN. 00:35:01.628 --> 00:35:03.378 line:85% position:50% size:80% THERE IS A TIME TO FEEL SHAME. 00:35:03.510 --> 00:35:04.639 line:85% position:50% size:80% THERE IS A TIME, 00:35:04.909 --> 00:35:05.300 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT YOU, 00:35:05.349 --> 00:35:07.708 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT AT SOME POINT AS A HUMAN BEING. 00:35:08.809 --> 00:35:12.719 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT STAYING WHERE YOU ARE IS ACTUALLY MORE PAINFUL. 00:35:13.820 --> 00:35:13.829 line:85% position:50% size:80% THEN 00:35:14.648 --> 00:35:15.878 line:85% position:50% size:80% DOING WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. 00:35:16.840 --> 00:35:18.760 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I REFUSE TO BELIEVE 00:35:19.030 --> 00:35:20.458 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT YOU DON'T KNOW 00:35:20.789 --> 00:35:22.599 line:85% position:50% size:80% ONE THING THAT YOU COULD DO TODAY 00:35:22.898 --> 00:35:24.269 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT WOULD MAKE THINGS A LITTLE BETTER. 00:35:25.329 --> 00:35:25.909 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND MEL, 00:35:25.958 --> 00:35:26.469 line:85% position:50% size:80% FINALLY, 00:35:26.559 --> 00:35:28.019 line:85% position:50% size:80% WHAT IS NEXT FOR YOU? 00:35:28.119 --> 00:35:29.949 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU'VE ACCOMPLISHED SO 00:35:30.269 --> 00:35:30.869 line:85% position:50% size:80% MUCH. 00:35:31.199 --> 00:35:34.110 line:85% position:50% size:80% IS THERE SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE ON THE HORIZON THAT YOU CAN SHARE? 00:35:34.478 --> 00:35:34.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% NO, 00:35:35.438 --> 00:35:36.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% I DON'T WANNA DO MORE LIKE I, 00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:37.739 line:85% position:50% size:80% I LIKE I, 00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:38.918 line:85% position:50% size:80% I ACTUALLY, 00:35:38.958 --> 00:35:41.000 line:85% position:50% size:80% I MEAN I LOVE THE PODCAST. 00:35:41.039 --> 00:35:41.949 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'D LOVE TO MAKE IT BETTER. 00:35:42.039 --> 00:35:45.119 line:85% position:50% size:80% I LOVE AS A 56 YEAR OLD WOMAN IN BOSTON, 00:35:45.239 --> 00:35:47.360 line:85% position:50% size:80% NOT A MEDIA TOWN IN VERMONT. 00:35:47.489 --> 00:35:48.429 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'M FREAKING 00:35:48.719 --> 00:35:50.119 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE DOING SOMETHING. 00:35:50.349 --> 00:35:54.128 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT PEOPLE CARE LIKE THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE FOR PEOPLE 00:35:54.458 --> 00:35:58.769 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT IS SO COOL AND I THINK YOU CAN DRINK YOUR OWN KOOL-AID 00:35:59.059 --> 00:36:01.128 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND THINK THAT YOU SHOULD ALWAYS DO MORE. 00:36:01.378 --> 00:36:03.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE WHAT I WOULD LIKE MORE OF IS I'D LIKE MORE TIME HIKING. 00:36:04.579 --> 00:36:06.458 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'D LIKE MORE TIME WITH MY HUSBAND. 00:36:06.619 --> 00:36:09.539 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'D LIKE WE'RE CELEBRATE WE CELEBRATED 29 YEARS OF MARRIAGE. 00:36:09.590 --> 00:36:10.780 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'D LIKE TO STAY MARRIED. 00:36:11.059 --> 00:36:13.199 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'D LIKE TO SEE MY KIDS MORE 00:36:13.500 --> 00:36:18.250 line:85% position:50% size:80% UM I FEEL LIKE THIS OBSESSION WITH MAKING IT BIGGER CAN MAKE 00:36:18.250 --> 00:36:22.280 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU MISERABLE AND SO I'D LIKE TO STAY DOING WHAT I DO 00:36:22.728 --> 00:36:25.398 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND CONTINUE TO FIND WAYS TO DO IT BETTER 00:36:25.659 --> 00:36:27.000 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I'D LIKE TO 00:36:27.530 --> 00:36:31.159 line:85% position:50% size:80% USE WHAT I'M DOING TO BRING MORE VOICES 00:36:31.489 --> 00:36:33.360 line:85% position:50% size:80% OUT TO THE WORLD FOR FREE 00:36:33.688 --> 00:36:36.250 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO THAT PEOPLE CAN BUMP INTO THE RIGHT 00:36:36.570 --> 00:36:37.239 line:85% position:50% size:80% ADVICE 00:36:37.688 --> 00:36:40.010 line:85% position:50% size:80% AT THE RIGHT TIME WHEN THEY NEED IT. 00:36:40.519 --> 00:36:42.500 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND I LOVE THAT WHAT I'M DOING IS FREE, 00:36:42.510 --> 00:36:44.228 line:85% position:50% size:80% SO YOU CAN SHARE IT WITH SOMEBODY. 00:36:45.250 --> 00:36:45.869 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S WHY THAT, 00:36:45.938 --> 00:36:46.199 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW, 00:36:46.469 --> 00:36:48.300 line:85% position:50% size:80% I ALWAYS SAY THAT THAT MOMS 00:36:48.628 --> 00:36:52.659 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND AND GIRLFRIENDS ARE THE GATEWAY DRUG TO THE MEL ROBBINS PODCAST 00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:53.579 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE 00:36:53.750 --> 00:36:55.550 line:85% position:50% size:80% IF SOMEBODY'S SHARING AN EPISODE WITH YOU, 00:36:55.570 --> 00:36:59.510 line:85% position:50% size:80% IT'S BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU AND ONE OF MY GIRLFRIENDS SHARED YOUR EPISODES WITH ME, 00:36:59.628 --> 00:37:00.030 line:85% position:50% size:80% YES, 00:37:00.269 --> 00:37:01.510 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S WHY, 00:37:01.628 --> 00:37:01.898 line:85% position:50% size:80% YES, 00:37:01.949 --> 00:37:03.199 line:85% position:50% size:80% AND IT'S NOT JUST WOMEN. 00:37:03.309 --> 00:37:06.378 line:85% position:50% size:80% LIKE THE SECRET THING IS THAT LIKE HALF THE AUDIENCES GUYS. 00:37:06.958 --> 00:37:07.429 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE 00:37:07.719 --> 00:37:10.958 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE ARE SHARING THIS AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU LISTEN AND YOU'RE LIKE, 00:37:11.039 --> 00:37:14.340 line:85% position:50% size:80% WELL THIS IS HILARIOUS AND IT'S SUPER INTERESTING AND IT'S USEFUL, 00:37:14.599 --> 00:37:16.099 line:85% position:50% size:80% NOW I'M GONNA SHARE IT WITH SOMEBODY ELSE 00:37:16.478 --> 00:37:19.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% BECAUSE WE TALK ABOUT THE THINGS THAT IMPACT ALL OF US.